Page 190 of Beasts of Mine

“I would like that.” Tavian replied before becoming serious again. “Are you excited about the job?”

That question felt different.

“Yes.” I answered Tavian without needing to think. “Very. The wildlife, the access, the landscape—everything about the actual work sounds incredible.” Tavian nodded slowly, his fingers curling once against the edge of the table.

“I don't like how long you'll be gone.” Tavian admitted as he watched me. “But I don't want you less excited because I don't like it.”

“Thank you.” I told Tavian softly, understanding what he was offering. He wasn't pretending he liked the separation; he was refusing to make his unhappiness my responsibility to fix. Tavian remained quiet for several seconds before shifting his weight.

“Could I go with you sometime?” Tavian asked as he searched my face, his usual confidence noticeably absent from the question. “Not this one. I don't know enough about your kind of travel yet, and somewhere that cold already sounds terrible. But another assignment, maybe. I want to see some of what you see.”

The question caught me harder than I'd expected because he wasn't asking me to make my world smaller for him. He was asking whether he could learn enough to be part of it sometimes.

“Maybe.” I told Tavian as I smiled. “I don't know how any of that would work yet, but I'm not saying no.”

“Good.” Tavian replied as some of his usual brightness returned. “I think I'd like seeing you work somewhere that isn't here.”

“You might regret saying that when you're carrying equipment at five in the morning.” I warned Tavian, though my smile made it clear the possibility didn't bother me.

“I already carry your equipment.” Tavian reminded me as his mouth curved.

“Sometimes after asking.” I corrected Tavian as I raised one brow.

“I'm improving.” Tavian replied as he spread his hands, accepting the criticism without argument. Luca had listened without interrupting, and when Tavian settled back against the edge of the table, he turned toward me.

“This is the kind of job you'd take if you hadn't met us, isn't it?” Luca asked, his voice gentle while his green-gold eyes stayed on mine. The question caught me more effectively than another version of Do you want to go? would have.

“Yes.” I answered Luca after a moment. “Probably without thinking nearly this hard about it.”

Luca nodded.

“Then I'm glad they offered it.” Luca told me as a quiet purr began beneath his chest. “The first time, they needed somebody who happened to be close enough to help. This time they came looking for you.”

I stared at him, pride pressing unexpectedly beneath my ribs.

“I hadn't thought about it that way.” I admitted to Luca as I rubbed my thumb along a scratch in the tabletop.

“You should.” Luca replied as his purr deepened. “You earned that.” My throat tightened unexpectedly.

“I'm still allowed to hate being gone that long.” I told Luca as I looked back toward him.

“I'd be surprised if you didn't.” Luca answered as his expression softened. “Being excited about the work doesn't require you to enjoy every part of taking it.”

The answer sounded like Luca. He wasn't trying to solve the feeling; he was simply letting both parts exist.

“What are the conditions like?” Luca asked as his attention shifted naturally toward the practical details. “You said mountains.”

“Cold, windy, possibly snow depending on elevation and timing.” I explained to Luca as I leaned forward. “Completely different equipment problems from here. Different clothing, battery performance, storage, field routines. I'll need to prepare for it properly.”

“Does that change anything with your medication?” Luca asked as concern briefly tightened his features, though he didn't reach toward the bag where he knew I kept it.

“It shouldn't if everything is stored properly.” I answered Luca as I shook my head. “And I have plenty of time to sort it out. I still have weeks here, then time at home before I'd leave again.”

Luca considered that before nodding.

“Then we wait until you know what the actual problems are.” Luca said as he rested one hand against the repaired strap. “There's no point solving things you've only imagined.”

“With me.” I reminded Luca as I watched him, wanting the distinction clear even though he hadn't crossed it.