Page 118 of Tides of Shadows

His words were the final push that sent me over the brink. He bit my nipple gently, his hands continuing to caress me. My body arched, and I tried to stifle a scream, but I couldn’t. Moans tore from my throat, louder than I wanted, and my body began to tremble in uncontrollable spasms. His movements slowed, but he didn’t stop, slowly bringing me back to reality.

I lay beside him, my head tucked into the hollow of his neck. My body still trembled, struggling to find rest after what I had just endured.

“If I could, I would take you like this every night,” he said softly. “Every day I would watch you lose yourself for me, watch your body arch for me, hear you moan into my ear.”

His words stirred something in me that I could not name. I didn’t wish for him to stop. He was the only one I wanted to surrender to completely, he could do anything to me. I would let him. I wanted it. I remained silent, not wanting him to know it. To know how much control he had over me.

I rested my head against his chest and listened to the beating of his heart, swift and uneven like my own. His hands glided over my body in slow, soothing strokes, as though he sought to calm the storm he himself had summoned.

We lay in silence, with only the whisper of the wind from the balcony filling the room. By his side I allowed myself to be fragile, unguarded.

At some point, Aidenar broke the silence. I had known this question would come.

“I know I should not ask,” he began, his voice uncertain, “but how is it that…” He faltered, unsure how to shape the words. I knew well what he meant.

“That I have never been with anyone,” I said bluntly, before I could stop myself.

Aidenar looked at me. “You are beautiful, and of a good Family. You probably had many admirers on the islands.”

I sighed deeply. All the memories I had tried to leave behind gathered again at the edge of my mind. So much had happened that life on the islands seemed like a distant dream.

“There was a certain nobleman,” I began, choosing my words with care, “of a family that was counting on liaison with the Veymaris. My father knew he needed strong allies, so he made an agreement with the boy’s father. He was a few years older than me. Our future betrothal was announced. There was no talk of a wedding yet, but both families wished for some security. I didn’t even rebel too much about it. He was handsome, older, rather kind, and the girls adored him. I thought I could’ve ended up with someone worse.

“Our so-called engagement was mostly a shake of hands between our fathers. I began to spend some time with him. He was a typical lordling. I don’t know if I loved him, perhaps I only wished to believe I did.

“Over time he started to be very controlling. He wanted to decide everything about me, about my life. What I should and shouldn’t do. What was ladylike and what wasn’t. He wanted a perfect future noble wife, sitting in a dress in silence.

“Little by little he began to press me. He thought that, since we were to be together one day, he had the right to me, to my body.” I saw Aidenar’s eyes sharpen. “It was before I had any power. I was very very young, and I wasn’t ready to be close with anyone. He grew more insistent, more rough. One day he crossed a line.” Aidenar’s whole body went tense, veins stood out along his forearms, but he said nothing.

“Nothing happened,” I said with relief. “I managed to escape. Just a few bruises. That’s when something broke in me that day. I told myself I would never let myself be treated like that again. It was probably shortsighted. Our Family would probably be better off if I had married him after all.”

I drew a slow breath. “I went to my mother and told her I would throw myself into the sea if I were forced to endure more of it. She looked at me with that mad, distant stare of hers and understood. I don’t know whether she saw the future then, or only the present, but she nodded and spoke to my father. The wedding was called off. And I promised myself I would never let a man treat me like that again. I started training harder, fighting more. I spent more time at men’s activities than at women’s. I didn’t want to be seen as a potential wife.

“After a while my power awakened,” I added quietly. “That changed everything. I became… unstable. For years I struggled with the element, tried to bend it to my will. After a while, I met another boy. A fine sailor. He wasn’t from a wealthy or noble family. But he was a good man. He was gentle and kind and fair to look upon. I loved him, as much as a young heart can. Nothing happened between us yet, I was taking my time.”

The words caught in my throat. Now I had to say it aloud. I didn’t want to. But there was no escape. Sooner or later, he would have to know.

“Until that day came,” I went on, my voice breaking. “I waited for him to return from yet another voyage. His ship had already drawn near our shores when the storm broke. Never had such a fury been seen in our waters. Everyone feared the ship would be smashed against the rocks. I tried to calm the sea, to grant them safe passage. I was trying to call my element, to save him, but I failed. Everything went dark.

“When they found me on the cliffs, it was already over. Ship never made port. The sea claimed them all. It claimed him as well. The sea I was supposed to control, but I couldn’t!”

Aidenar said nothing.

“Some began to whisper that it was me who had called the storm. That I had killed them. Slowly even I stopped knowing what was true about me. Rumors started spreading. No one wanted to marry a girl with a power she couldn’t control. Our Family’s fortunes grew worse and the Lords didn’t see any benefits of being involved with me.

“And so I was alone. Everyone feared me. No one wanted me.”

Silence fell between us, heavy as stone. The very air seemed to grow thick. Aidenar didn’t speak for a long while, but his arms tightened around mine. He didn’t pull away. Finally, he touched my face. His voice was soft.

“You don’t have to be ashamed. I know nothing will bring those people back to life. But you didn’t do it on purpose. You didn’t ask for this power either. None of us did.” He moved to face me, looking into my eyes with those silver diamonds of his. “I’m not afraid of you. And I want every part of you. Nothing less.”

I didn’t know why tears suddenly spilled from my eyes. No one had ever spoken to me like that. No one has ever tried as hard for me as he did. I kissed him, kissed him through my tears. I grabbed his neck and back and pulled my body closer to his. I wanted him more than anything. My whole body trembled against him, and I felt heat in my stomach. I knew I wanted him within me, that I needed to feel him again. I crossed one leg over him and began to press myself against the hard line of his arousal. His cock answered at once. Aidenar, surprised, broke the kiss and looked down at me.

“I don’t want to strain you,” he said. “I don’t want to cause you pain.”

“Aiden,” I whispered, “I am yours. Take me.”

He needed no further encouragement. He was already so hard, pressing against me with all his strength. He was just waiting for my permission. In one swift movement, Aiden flipped me onto my back and was between my thighs. I knew I would never get enough. I would never get enough of his face, his silver eyes, his muscular, perfect body, his confident smile. And now I knew I would never get enough of him inside me.