Page 52 of Tides of Shadows

I stared at him, terrified.

“No,” he said.

My eyes wide, lips parted.

“I cannot,” he said, looking at the ground. He would not meet my gaze.

He regretted that.

I’d thrown myself at him like some stupid fool. What had I expected? And he…

“Nerissa...” he began, but I couldn’t listen anymore. The humiliation.

I wrenched my hands free and strode toward my horse as fast as I could.

Idiot. Fool. Stupid, stupid girl.

What had I thought? That it would be different? That someone would see something more than a girl full of power and problems?

I galloped toward the palace, wind whipping tears from the corners of my eyes. When I entered my chambers, servants had removed the barrel of fish. Mirabel must have sent my clothes to be laundered. But I could still smell decay in the room. I was going to vomit.

This cursed place.

Chapter

15

Ihad enough of the last few days. I withdrew from the meetings, sent Roderick to listen in my place. I didn’t want to look at them. At Dricus. At Velena. Not even at Aidenar. The Gathering stood halfway through, yet all had grown weary of it.

I couldn’t stay in my chambers. I could still smell the stench of dead fish clinging to the walls and drapes. I had nowhere to go. I hid in the gardens, by one of the fountains. That always calmed me, the rush of water, the cool marble, the scent of wet stone.

I found a secluded place where a bearded giant carved in stone watched over the stream. Father of the nymphs, or husband. You could never tell with these myths. I sat on the stone bench and stared at the water flowing from his palms.

“Are you avoiding me?”

The voice pulled me from my numbness. I looked up and saw Aidenar, arms crossed over his chest, silver gaze fixed on me.

“I needed a break,” I said, turning back to the fountain.

He moved closer, stopped right by the bench.

“Everything alright?”

There was a note of concern in his voice. I raised my head and looked at him.

“Yes.”

I sat in silence. I could still see Dricus’s face, still felt his lips on mine and the grip of his hands on my wrists when he pushed me away. Stupid girl.

“No jokes about me?” Aidenar broke the silence. “No comments about how I’m wasting my life with whores?”

“I don’t have the energy.”

He winced, as if my words had wounded him. He sat beside me, rested his head against the marble back of the bench, and together we watched the fountain. Water splashing. Wind rustling through leaves.

“Aren’t you at the Gathering?” I asked finally.

“I can’t take it anymore.” He sighed deeply. “If I hear Dorthal’s idea about new tariffs on all his goods one more time, I’ll throw myself off a tower.”