Page 64 of Tides of Shadows

I opened my eyes. I was laying in my own bed. Sunlight cut the remnants of sleep like a blade. I blinked and tried to lift my lids. Warm rays danced upon the linen and touched my face, but each breath was a stab. My ribs burned at the smallest motion. I tried to rise, and a thin sound broke from my lips.

Then I saw him. Aidenar slept in the chair beside me. His white shirt was rumpled, his hair disordered, as if he had held himself upon the verge of sleep for many hours. The sun fell upon his face, brightening the gold in his hair and the clean line of his jaw. He looked like a young god.

“Aidenar… what happened?” I whispered.

His eyelids stirred. He woke up and started upright.

“You are awake.” His voice was hoarse, full of relief and feeling. “I am so sorry. I did not mean… I lost control.”

Before I could answer he caught my hand in his. His touch was warm, a little unsteady. I tried to gather the scattered shards of memory. His anger. His frustration. A blaze of light. The impact. Then nothing.

“What happened?” I asked softly, looking up at him through my lashes.

“It was me,” he said, and his voice broke. “I couldn’t hold my power. I threw the sphere... it exploded between us, throwing you against the wall.” He fell silent, and in his eyes I saw something new. Shame. True shame, raw and rending. But I knew that feeling. I knew what hurting someone with your power meant.

“How long have I slept?”

He hesitated. “Three days.”

Three days. I looked at him more closely. I had never seen him so dimmed.

His voice grew faint. “I don’t know what to say. I might have killed you. I cannot control it.”

He still held my hand. I felt the tremor of his thumb as it brushed my skin. He looked into my eyes so intently that my heart stuttered in my breast. Before I could shape an answer, the door flew wide.

“Lady Nerissa!” Mirabel swept in with an armful of garments. “Thanks be to the gods.”

In her joy she began to buffet Aidenar with the clothes, heedless that she struck the Regent’s son. Then she flung herself at me and embraced me so hard that I cried out.

“My deepest pardon,” she squeaked, springing back.

Aidenar rose and straightened, and something flashed in his gaze, something between relief and sorrow.

“I shall fetch the medics to examine you now that you are awake.” He hesitated as if he would say more, then only turned toward the door. “I won’t interrupt you any longer.”

I watched him go. I slowly started remembering everything of that day.

Cassandra words, the vote. Then the flashbacks of my nightmare came. “You are a toy to him, a diversion, a passing pleasure. Nothing more.”

The next days passed in recovery. I did not see Aidenar. Mirabel said he was probably burdened with duties, but I knew he avoided me. Perhaps for fear that his power would break loose once more. But I was rather certain I was of no further use to him.

At the next Gathering meeting, Aidenar sat as always, silent beside his mother. He didn’t look at me even once. It was as though I did not exist. After the council, he disappeared quickly. Dricus was absent again, likely attending to his own affairs.

When everyone had dispersed, I sat alone on the stone bench of the Veymaris Family. So that was it. I felt as lonely as the day I had sailed into this city. I caught Velena watching me from the corner of my eye, her expression full of contempt and satisfaction.

I retreated to my chambers. I was ready to go home. I had had enough of this place, these people. This false brightness and hidden motives.

Mirabel burst into the room without knocking. She looked at me with concern.

“My Lady, is all well?”

“We only have to endure until the vote, and then we return home.”

Mirabel hesitated. “Do you miss him, my lady?”

“Whom?” I asked.

She said nothing, only looked at me as though the answer should have been obvious. But it wasn’t. Whatever I wanted, it did not matter. My path led only homeward. Nothing held me here.