Page 75 of How Not to Date a Griffin

Nolan knew what to say, though; in fact, he couldn’t stop saying anything at all, unaware of Reid’s hesitant frame in front of him as he rambled. “All the businesses he bought were manipulated in the same way. That’s not… that’s not right. We have to tell someone. But who do we tell? What do we say?”

“Nolan, I have to tell you something.” Reid tried to catch Nolan’s gaze with his own, but he was still out of reach even though he was inches away.

“The police? What would they do? Should I get a lawyer first? Oh, god, that’s hundreds of people that he – that I—” He choked suddenly, eyes watering.

“Nolan, hey. Hey, I—”

“You know I had nothing to do with this, right?” he asked, eyes landing on Reid’s. It almost startled him, Nolan’s intensity, and Reid pulled his hands back.

“I know someone we can tell,” he said, words practically rushed into one. He sucked in a deep breath as Nolan’s eyes widened.

“You do? Who?”

“A reporter. We can have him print it, run it as a story.”

Nolan nodded, searching his face. “Okay, that’s great! That’s – we can gather evidence and he can run it. So why do you look like you’re about to tell me something not great?”

Reid didn’t know where to start. I like you a fucking lot? Sorry, I started hanging out with you to get dirt on your dad?

“When I met you that first night, I had no idea who you were,” he began, because the start was a good place, yeah?

He swallowed, stomach swirling with nerves. He felt like he’d done something wrong, because he had.

“I know,” Nolan said sincerely.

“And after I saw you at the conference, I really thought it was best if we just – cut ties and ran, y’know?”

Hurt flashed through Nolan’s eyes, and he let his attention fall to the bar. “Yeah, I remember. But then you came to my room—”

“Before that,” Reid interrupted, “I had lunch with John, my friend, the reporter. He said he was gonna lose his job unless he found a really good story to write, to impress his boss with.”

“Oh,” Nolan said, taking a step back.

Reid’s chest tightened, his breath short, like Nolan was stepping away with all the oxygen in the room.

“And we knew there had to be… something. Something I could find about your dad.”

“Oh,” Nolan said again, and sat down on the bar stool with an oomph.

Reid panicked, feeling like he was losing Nolan even as he sat not a foot away from him, and babbled on. “And that’s maybe how I justified it, getting involved with you, because I felt so stupid, I mean—you’re here to take this away from me,” he said, waving his hand around at the bar. “But I couldn’t – it didn’t feel possible that that was all we were. I couldn’t stand the idea that we ended there. I wanted to get breakfast with you that first morning. I wanted to walk you to your stupid conference and wish you luck, but when I woke up, you were gone and I was late. All fucking morning, all I could think about was your number burning a hole through my phone, asking you to dinner and planning what I wanted to show you next.”

Nolan swallowed audibly, his sky-blue eyes darkening like a storm, lifting to Reid’s. “Me too. I couldn’t focus for anything,” he said sadly.

“But then I figured out who you were, and I just – I felt like I was throwing this all away for a guy. So, yes. I agreed to John’s stupid plan, and I went out with you, lying to myself, telling myself that I could do this without... And then you took me to the stupid rescue and god, Nolan…” Reid ran a hand through his hair, feeling crazed. “There’s no one else like you, and—”

“Without what?” Nolan interjected.

Lost, Reid stared at him. “What?”

“You said you were telling yourself that you could do this – pretend to like me, pretend to be interested in me with ulterior motives – without…?”

Each word was a dagger to the chest, and Reid’s throat felt tight as the words scraped past his lips. “Without falling for you.”

“And did you succeed?” Nolan asked, his tone short.

Reid shook his head. “No.” His voice was small, about as small as he felt. “No, I didn’t.”

“Oh,” Nolan said, again, and Reid wished he could come up with some other syllables.