Page 41 of The Temptation of Roan Island

If Noah didn’t look wary and shaken by his own power, I might be more concerned, but as it is, his use of his ability to defend against my brother’s disrespect makes me more convinced he’s worthy of it.

No one speaks during the rest of the main course.

Unable to take the uncomfortable silence any longer, I stand before dessert and hold my hand out to Pippa. “Ready for our walk?”

She nods, standing with an awkward glance around the room. I escort her out, tucking her hand into my elbow.

“I think I might be too tired to walk,” she admits once we’re in the hall. “That was… taxing.”

“I’ll carry you if I must.”

She snickers. “That desperate for my company?”

“And to move.” After the stifling dinner, my muscles are tense. I could use a bit of exercise. And I’m not ready to say goodnight.

“Alright. I think I can manage for a little while. Where to?”

I’d planned on a turn in the gardens now that the weather is warmer or perhaps a walk around the house if she was up for it. But after Jafeth’s comments, there’s somewhere else I want to take her.

When I scoop her into my arms, her laugh is a merry bell. “I thought you were joking about carrying me!”

“There’s something I’d like to show you. Are you alright with going outside?”

The moment she nods, I run down the corridor and out of the house. Normally, I’d take my time walking this path, using the excursion to think, but tonight, I use my Mavarri strength and speed, so it only takes a few minutes to bring her to the edge of the clearing.

Just outside the meadow, I set her on her feet. The sun is almost at the horizon, casting the sky in hues of orange and red. Both moons are already making their appearance, thin crescents heralding the approach of another new moon. It’s a beautiful night, springtime warmth warring with the lingering chill of winter.

With my hand riding her lower back, I escort Pippa into the meadow.

She takes a deep breath, her head swiveling to take in the wildflowers that have just started to bloom. “It’s beautiful.”

“Breathtaking,” I reply, looking at her. When she turns toward me, I look up at the sky. “I come here often. When I need to clear my head.”

“Is that a gravestone?”

Rather than answer, I lead her closer. When she shivers, I remove my coat and drape it over her shoulders. She stumbles, and I wrap my arms around her to offer her my strength.

Neither of us speaks right away when we reach the grave. We stand shoulder to shoulder as the sun sets behind us.

“Vivienne Langford,” Pippa says, reading the plaque. “Who was she?”

I swallow my reservations. It’s important that Pippa understand where I’m coming from. “She’s the only woman I ever loved.”

I almost leave it at that. Letting her believe I still love and grieve another would be the best way to convince her I won’t love again. But when her hand tightens around mine, I find myself wanting to tell her more. “Like your relationship with your son’s father, it was a one-sided affection. I felt more than she did.”

Her gloved fingers brush against mine, but she doesn’t speak, just waits.

“What Jafeth said at dinner…” I pull my hand away and untie my hair, digging my fingers through the tangles, anything to occupy myself as I recall this pain. “This is why he doubts us… he knows I can’t… I won’t love again.”

“Will you tell me what happened? How she died?”

“She wanted the power and abilities that come with being the Roan matriarch.” I can’t keep the bitterness out of my voice even though it’s been years since I’ve felt it. I’ve never talked about this with anyone before. The only people who know are those who were there.

“Matriarch?” I can see the gears turning in her mind, piecing it all together. “She wanted to be with your father?”

“She was with my father.” I walk a few paces away. “Behind my back. I didn’t know until Solstice, when she asked him to bite her instead of me.” I let out a derisive laugh. “The irony is she might have lived if I’d been the one to do it. But she chose him.”

I want to discount the pain I felt all those years ago, discount the bitterness that rose within me like a sea, pulling me under, but I don’t. No matter how long ago it was, I won’t pretend it was alright. I’m fine now. But the pain was real. And it taught me. It made me stronger.