Page 73 of The Temptation of Roan Island

He takes my hand in his and leads me through a hallway to a spiral staircase. We ascend to a hatch door that opens up to the Crow’s Nest. Once he’s helped me up, we stand at the railing and watch the world fall away. The dark sky shimmers with brilliant stars. The wind is cold, but with Shemaiah standing so close and his jacket over my shoulders, I’m comfortable. It’s lovely and exhilarating, though if I were afraid of heights, it would be terrifying.

“I’m sorry about… dinner.” Shemaiah takes a deep breath and drops his head.

I lean into him. “Is it wrong to say I’ve never been more attracted to you?”

He lifts his head, a slight smile playing on his lips. “Oh really, Mrs. Roan?”

That hungry gaze will be my undoing, but first I need to get through this.

Shemaiah trails his fingertips along my back until his arm is around me. “Are you done thinking about⁠—”

“Wait.” I step out of his arms and press my back against the railing so I can look at him.

He sighs. “I knew I scared you in there.”

“No, it’s not that.” I take his hand, but keep a little distance between us. “I want you to know me, Shemaiah. There’s a reason why I’m terrified to fully trust… why pretending has been so difficult. You know Tobias’s father didn’t want me or my son, but there’s more to the story. Mr. Pinkerton was right about one thing. Tobias’s father was Martin Ressmussen.” I turn to face the railing, putting my back to Shemaiah. He steps to my side, his shoulder pressing against mine, infusing me with strength. I use that fortitude to help me say what comes next. For a moment I try to find the right words, but there aren’t any to explain this in a positive light. There’s only one good thing that came out of it: Tobias.

“I didn’t try to seduce him, and I wasn’t after his wealth.” I shake my head, suddenly afraid Shemaiah won’t believe me, that he’ll think of me the same way the people at dinner did.

“I know, Pippa.” I feel the weight of his gaze and the seriousness in his voice. “You would never do that.”

A relieved sigh leaves my lips. “I was in awe of him. He was older. Ten years my senior and far above my standing.” I look up at the sky. “Not unlike you.” My attempt at teasing falls flat, coming off a little too real. I know Shemaiah would never do what Martin did to me, but we aren’t exactly on even footing either.

Shemaiah spins me by my shoulders and keeps hold. “Don’t compare me to that bastard, Pippa. Ever.” He pins me to the railing, his warm body pressing against mine. “We’re more than our stations. None of that means anything to me.”

I nod, my eyes locked on a button on Shemaiah’s shirt.

He grips my chin, rough and urgent, tilting my head up so I can’t avoid looking at him. “If I had your love the way he did, I would never let it go.”

I smile sadly. “He said sweet things like that too.”

Shemaiah growls. “What did I say about comparing⁠—”

“I’m not. It’s just… it’s hard, Maiah. I don’t trust myself the way I used to. He said he loved me, that he’d never leave me, but when I told him I was pregnant, I was suddenly nothing but a harlot out to get his wealth. He abandoned me the moment things got difficult and said it was all fake. I was entirely dependent on that job, and he kicked me out on the street, not caring what happened to me or his son.”

His face blurs as my eyes fill with tears.

“Oh, Pippa.” He kisses my forehead, the brush of his lips so tender it makes my heart squeeze.

“Do you see?” I try to shake my head, but his hold is too tight. “What if you decide you don’t want me either? What if… goddess forbid, I got pregnant again?” The words come out as barely a whisper, a secret fear that only reared its head after he left this afternoon and I truly thought about what we were considering. I doubt I’d be able to see the pregnancy through in my condition, but that doesn’t stop the hurried pounding of my blood, the tight feeling in my throat.

“Mavarri can’t get humans pregnant.” Shemaiah’s grip tightens. “But even if I could. I’m not him. I would never abandon you or a child.” His lips hover over mine. “Never.”

With gentle pressure, our lips touch. He kisses me like the stars kiss the night—twinkling, soft, and reverent. Adoration that changes into something more desperate between us. I melt into him, wanting to forget everything.

His hand drags up my shoulder to my neck. “I want you, Pippa.” Fingers tighten just under my chin, the flex of his hand possessive, around my throat. “For real.” His lips brush my cheek, making their way to my ear. “Fuck, even the idea of putting a baby in you—my baby—makes me so hard. I’ve never wanted that before now. Before you.”

My breath catches, and I cling to the fabric of his waistcoat. “You can’t mean that. I’m… I’m nobody. A dying servant.”

He pulls back to look at me. “You’re Pippa Roan. My wife.”

“That’s just pretend.”

“No one else knows that.” His lips hover near my neck, the warmth of his gentle breath caressing my skin. “And maybe it doesn’t have to be. I… I can’t make any promises about the Solstice, but… I care about you, Pippa. I’ll take care of you as long as you’ll let me. Tobias, too. I want to see where this goes. Please, let me have you.”

I pull away to study him. “You want this… us to be real? Truly real?” My shock must be written across my face. It’s one thing to want to fool around, but he’s talking as if he wants more than that. More than just my body, even knowing it can only be for a little while.

His hand slides higher until both palms are cupping my cheeks. “Truly.” His dark gaze shines in the light of the stars. “It’s already real. I just haven’t wanted to admit it.”