Page 35 of Anthem of Love and Loathing

Riot, the jackass, looks like a god on that stage. He acts like one too. Dark hair, smoldering eyes, and his lucky leather jacket. It’s a powerful concoction but throw in his cocky Maddox charm and people lose their minds over him.

Like I did once.

Girls scream for him. He locks eyes with some girl in the crowd and she swoons.

She literally collapses for the pretentious douchebag and has to be collected by the first aid crew. Another throws her bra on the stage. Another lifts her top up to reveal her boobs.

If only they knew what he was like in private. If only they had a clue how malicious and vindictive he can be. How easily he could break a heart. Discard a friend. The lengths he could go to in order to ruin a life. My life.

And everything we could have been.

Fucking around with Kodiak this morning didn’t scratch the itch of how badly I want to show him I’m better than fine without him. Especially since Bronx took him to my place, so he now has a good idea what my life has been like since I walked away.

Or how much I want to make him pay for what I lost. As if anything I could do to him could ever cause him that much pain.

“We’re going to sing ‘Chokehold,’ right now.” Riot announces. “Are you ready?”

The crowd goes absolutely wild.

He launches into the version he wrote for the woman who he cheated on me with. “You’ve got me in your chokehold, baby.”

An ache washes through me, stealing my breath. I shut my eyes and try to shove the hurt down. This song used to mean something. He ruined that. He ruined us. I don’t know how to recover.

Faking it on the other hand... I can hold my head up high. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing he can hurt me.

The song finishes and he locks his gaze on me. It’s chillingly hostile as he speaks into the microphone. “Tonight, we’re going to play you something new. It’s called... ‘Break You.’”

Golden and Kodiak share confused glances.

Bronx gives me a sympathetic glance before he sets the pace on his drum kit. Riot starts to croon into the microphone, laying down lines about how much he hates me.

I might have been falsely confident.

By the time he launches into the chorus I’m shaking.

His gaze stays on mine, the entire time he’s singing. His voice is raw and gravelly. “You left me broken. Left me bleeding. And I still want you... to make you pay. God, I hate you! I want to break you, I’m gonna break you.”

His smile is venomous.

My stomach is in my throat. My feet are rooted to the floor while the rest of me wants to either run away or punch him in his smug face.

“Watch out, baby, I’m coming for you.” He finishes the song and silence falls long enough I can hear my heartbeat in my ears before the crowd rumbles their approval of L.A. Riot’s newest song.

He turns his attention to them. “Well, we’re still working on it. But it sounds like you guys like it.”

I need to get out of here. I leave the side of the stage. Jasper, the bodyguard the guys ordered to keep an eye on me escorts me.

The crowd roars back their love for the new song.

I expected hearing lyrics about how much he hates me would be difficult. I assumed they would make me reconsider sticking around so he could brutalize me. But they were even harder to listen to than I expected.

Was there ever a time where we were really friends? Because there’s no way I would be friends with the man on stage right now. Let alone lovers. I can’t believe I used to want a future and a family with him.

Jasper escorts me to the private area set up for the band. We’re about to enter when Carmine’s unmistakable voice makes his presence inside known.

The fine hairs on the back of my neck spring to life.

He paces the space like a jovial rooster, his chest puffed up, while he crows on about how fabulous the show has been to someone on the phone.