Page 75 of Anthem of Love and Loathing

I hand him a napkin. “Who is that?”

He grimaces as he wipes up. “Yes, well they’re not really involved.” Casting a glance at the door like he hopes someone bursts through it, weapons at the ready so he can have some way out of this conversation.

Probably because whoever the label chose is my replacement, and he assumes that I might—most definitely will—have hard feelings about that.

“This guy that was following you…” he says. “Tell me everything. You knew him? Do you have a name? A description? Any other details that will help me keep you and the band safe?”

We talk about Marco while we finish our dinner. About how he killed Heaven and Loverboi. How he used to be obsessed with me. I leave out the countless assaults when I lived under his dad’s roof. That’s my baggage to carry alone. Rook’s discerning enough to read between the lines anyway. We discuss how he seems to still be fascinated with me. Enough that he didn’t kill me when he had opportunity to. That doesn’t mean he won’t if there is no other choice. “If he catches up to me, he is going to either leave me dead in the street. Or I’m going to go missing.”

“I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen.” Rook reaches over and covers my hand sympathetically. His gunmetal eyes have flecks of blue in them and a lot of genuineness. “You’re safe here.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

Maintaining eye contact, he squeezes once before withdrawing his hand.

“But it’s only temporary. I need to work out what I’m going to do after this.” I stand and tighten the sash on my robe. The movie is finished and my hair products have yet to be delivered. Or, more likely, it got delivered downstairs and the concierge is confused since I’m not technically here. I’ll ask Golden to bring it up for me in the morning. “I won’t be here for any longer than I need to be.”

“Well, for my part, I hope you need to be here a very long time. It’s been a shame not to have you around.”

“Thanks.” I squeeze his shoulder on my way past. It’s not fair that I only have a few months with these people I once considered family. Screw Riot for cheating on me and for taking the label’s side. Screw him for convincing me it was safe to want more than our friendship.

And fuck Marco for pushing me back into the past so I could miss these people all over again when it’s over.

I turn off the tv that was scrolling through the movie credits. “I’m going to go to bed.”

“I’m going to retire as well.” Rook gets up. He has a shoebox sized room outside of the main suite where he can monitor the whole situation while giving us as much privacy as possible. “If you need anything.”

“I’ll call.”

I stop in the kitchen once he’s gone and raid Kodiak’s snacks.

I’m stealing your Reese’s

Scary Girl, you can steal anything you want after that video. You have no idea how incredibly hard it was not to come straight back to the hotel and talk you into giving me a private show.

Something flutters in my belly. I was only thinking about getting at Riot, but the idea of the others watching... appreciating... I squeeze my thighs together. Until I remember that it was Kodiak’s name I called out.

How’s the party? Are you leaving soon?

Fucking hate these things. Unfortunately, yes, but not to come back to the hotel. Bronx, Golden, and I are heading to the afterparty for a bit. Some of us, cough... Golden... cough... Bronx ... cough... need to let off steam after that video...

Steam for Bronx and Golden could be anything from getting paralytically wasted to an orgy. Do I hope it’s the former? Maybe more than I should.

In a way that won’t make our frontman want to kill them.

Or was that your intention when you sent the video to all of us?

To make us obsessed with hearing you make those noises for us. Or just me? You did call out my name.

I had called out his name. I had imagined Riot being pushed to the edge of his control by Kodiak touching me. I did send it to all of them, not just Riot. So maybe... it was about more than revenge.

And you? Are you going to blow off some steam at the afterparty too?

I watch those dots on the screen come up over and over. Does the idea of him with another girl bother me?

I’m still holding out hope for my Scary Girl. Say the word...

You’re such a flirt.