Page 89 of Anthem of Love and Loathing

“Just come clean and tell me what you needed the money for.” He leans forward, the cords in his neck standing out. “And maybe we can move on from here. Maybe we can find a way to forgive each other.”

Move on? I can’t move on or forgive him, ever, for what he did. It will always be tied to losing our baby. How can I separate the two when it’s because of who he cheated on me with that my life took the turns that it did.

“I won’t even be mad.” His lips barely move. He wipes his fingers clean, then grimaces at the offensively thin, papery napkin. “Be honest. And tell me why you needed it.”

“I didn’t take your damn money,” I snap, no longer hungry. I put what’s left of my lunch down and scrunch it up in the paper until it becomes a ball. “You saw my place, the meagre belongings I have left. You stole those that were the most precious to me. And my vibrator, which you have yet to give back.”

“I bought you a better one.”

“You bought me a quieter one.” And, yes, it might be so much better than my vibrator when it comes to clitoral stimulation, but his motives were selfish. Gah, it doesn’t matter. That’s not the point. He thinks I stole from him. “Do I look like I have your money?”

“Maybe not now.”

“Not ever.”

He huffs out a breath. “That’s the story you want to stick with?”

“It’s the truth.”

“Liar.” He gets up in one smooth motion. Then he smirks in a way that means trouble will follow. “In case you didn’t realize... I have your diary. I’m going to find out why sooner or later.”

The stylist chooses that moment to join us. He shoos Riot away. “Break time is over, mon amie. Hair waits for no man.”

Riot stalks out of the room.

That jerk isn’t going to find out why I took the money, because I didn’t. But there are plenty of secrets inside that book I’d rather he not help himself to.

I have to get it back.

32

Riot

Her journal is riveting. Or it would be if it didn’t seem to be written in code. I need the fucking cypher to work out whether this book holds the answers I’m looking for.

One thing it has given me is a bird’s eye view of a life that has been all downhill since she walked away from me and L.A. Riot.

I knew Carmine had blacklisted her from the industry, which was to be expected after they found evidence of her theft. But her apartment building burned down... I didn’t hear a thing about that.

I reach inside my notepad to flip the page on her journal while the others muck around and amp themselves up to go on stage.

Our local opening act is on currently and their music fills the whole place. They sound pretty good. Sonatina says they’re going to be huge if her daddy has anything to do with it. She’s probably right about that.

Toe tapping out the beat, I scan the next page for anything that will give me a hint into why she was robbing me blind. Was it because of Marco? Did she need it to get him off her back?

Settled into my new place today. It doesn’t feel like home. Not yet, but I’m determined to make it work. If I can find a job that will keep me on for more than a couple of weeks. But I’m starting to suspect there’s a reason that’s not happening.

Thankfully I have my savings to fall back on for now. I have bigger problems to worry about right now. Do I tell him?

If I tell him... how will he react?

I fucking knew it. The reason the label’s accountants found extortion was because she was wringing every dollar out of us that she thought we wouldn’t notice.

I have no idea how he’ll react. If he’ll want anything to do with me. It.

All she had to do was tell me, and things could have been different. I would have crawled on my hands and knees to have her forgive me for screwing Sonatina. I would have given her anything she needed.

But she’s still lying to me. Why? What does it matter now?