Page 78 of The Moment I Knew

Ainsley whistled and circled me, looking at it from all angles. She shook her head in disbelief.

“Imogen, it’s perfect,” she said.

I huffed out a quiet breath. “You’re biased.”

“I am absolutely not,” Ainsley said. “If it were ugly, I’d tell you. Immediately.”

I snorted. “Thanks.”

She stopped in front of me and tipped my chin up with one finger, forcing me to meet her eyes in the mirror. “Imogen. Look at yourself.”

I did. Really did this time. The way the fabric skimmed instead of clung. The way my shoulders looked straighter, like I’d decided something just by standing there. The way I didn’t look like I was borrowing someone else’s confidence—I looked like I might actually own a little of it. My stomach fluttered.

“I don’t know,” I said, because saying anything else felt dangerous. “It feels… like a lot.”

“For our birthday party?” she asked. “It feels exactly like enough.”

I glanced at her. She wasn’t teasing. She wasn’t exaggerating. She was looking at me the way she always did when she thought I was underestimating myself—which was often.

“Where did you get it again?” she asked, squinting at the tag peeking out at my side.

“Online,” I repeated, a little too quickly. I reached back and tucked the tag in, like that would settle it. “Just one of those boutique sites.”

As soon as she left, I collapsed back onto the bed. Lying to her felt stupid, but necessary. Ainsley couldn’t know I’d been talking to Dad or that Hilary had anything to do with this.

I picked up my phone and opened a new message thread with Dad. Like always, the string of numbers at the top instead of his name made my heart twist with guilt, but I pushed the feeling deep down as I started to type. It wasn’t wrong for me to want to stay in contact with my dad. Sneaking around wasn’t ideal, but it was my only option, and I didn’t have to feel bad about it, not when my only other option was to never see him.

Imogen

Tell Hilary I got the dress sent to me and it looks perfect. I’ll be wearing it on Saturday night xx

I watched as the message sent and waited for the bubbles to appear to indicate that he was typing a response. He was normally pretty quick to respond, but this time, he didn’t respond immediately. I dropped the phone back on the bed and changed back into my regular clothes, taking care to hang the dress up carefully in my closet. That gnawing feeling of guilt and disgust was back in my stomach as I kept looking at and thinking about where it had come from. I hated to allow Hilary into any part of my life, even something as mundane as a birthday dress. It felt like I was signing over for her to remain a presence in my life, to go from just my dad’s mistress to a possible step-mom. The thought made me want to throw up.

My phone dinged with a message back.

Dad

Sounds great! Can’t wait to see you x

I hugged the phone to my chest and took a deep breath. This was what I was doing it for. It wasn’t so that Hilary could have a presence in my life—it was so that Dad could. And once he came over on Saturday, everything would fall into place.

twenty-five

Before that week, nobody had ever climbed up my balcony, but on Friday evening, Cole did it for the second time. He couldn’t have chosen a worse possible time because I had just gotten out of the shower and came wandering back into my room, hair still dripping water onto my shoulders. Luckily, I had changed in the bathroom, so I was at least wearing a cute, silky pajama set rather than just a towel. But I still jumped out of my skin when I saw him.

To his credit, after he ran his eyes up and down my body, he did look a little sheepish. I ran over to the balcony and opened the door for him, letting him step in from the cold. “What are you doing here?” I hissed, looking around as if I thought my mom was suddenly going to appear and get angry that there was a boy in my room. But she wasn’t home. Nobody was. In fact, I’d felt a little creeped out in the shower thinking that somebody was going to come murder me because I was home alone.

Ainsley would go ballistic if I told her that, in the time I was alone, Cole had managed to climb up on the balcony without me noticing. If I told her, she would go on and on about how that could have been a serial killer, and I could be dead now, and how I really needed to start barricading the balcony when I was home alone for my own safety. I was sure there was some serial killer who killed people this way. She would know.

But I wasn’t afraid of Cole. Despite his reputation, I never had been. In fact, I felt comforted by his presence. Like nothing bad could happen to me while he was near me.

He exhaled slowly, glancing around my room. The books on the shelf, the paint samples still taped to the wall, the life I kept so carefully organized. Then he turned his head and looked at me. His eyes searching mine, the hint of a smile on his lips. “I wanted to be the first person to wish you a happy birthday,” he said.

My heart stumbled. I drew in a slow breath. “It’s not my birthday. Not yet.”

He lifted his wrist and pulled back the sleeve so he could check his watch. The faint glow from the face lit up his features. “But it will be in 15 minutes.”

I raised my eyebrows. “So you decided to climb up a tree and almost break your neck just for that?”