Page 109 of The Addendum

I finished the letter and folded the papers, approaching the sofa. “May I read the other one?”

Ashley nodded. “It’s addressed to you.”

I took it, opening the flap, the glue long dried and gone. It was simple and brief.

Darling Richard,

Since you prefer to cut to the chase, I will do so as well. I’m pregnant with your child. I want nothing from you, although my greatest hope is that you will rejoice in this news as strongly as I am and be part of our child’s life. That is all I ask. To be a family.

I realize this has come as a shock to you—I assure you it did to me as well—but I hope once the shock passes, you will get in touch.

I love you.

Juliet

I sat down, silent. I took the cup Katy handed me, sipping the hot, sweet liquid. She’d added sugar. Katy always added sugar when she thought someone was in shock. She insisted it helped, and I never had been able to convince her otherwise.

I handed Ashley the note. She read it quickly, then offered it back to me. I gave it to Katy, who read it and slipped it back into the envelope.

“Don’t hate her,” Ashley whispered.

I turned to her, taking her hands. I was glad to feel they were warmer now and the shaking had eased. But her eyes were still glossy, the fear and anxiety in them clear.

“She made a huge error in judgment…” She trailed off, then cleared her throat. “She was young and afraid.”

“I don’t hate her, sweetheart. I’m not angry. I’m sorry for her pain and worry.” I touched her cheek. “Your mother was right not to tell me. I wasn’t a nice man, and the chances were, I would have rebuffed her. I would have had nothing to do with you—emotionally, at least. I would have demanded a paternity test after you were born and given her money once it was confirmed. But I wouldn’t have been there for her—or for you.”

She blinked at my honesty.

“I have no idea how I would have reacted if she had approached me later. I probably would have offered support and not tried to take you away from your mother—at least, I would like to think so.” I glanced at Katy, who smiled and nodded in reassurance.

“But your mother was scared.” I barked out a humorless laugh. “She had seen what I could do. How ruthless I could be. I don’t blame her for being frightened. I’m only sorry her fears made your life harder. That she carried this guilt and responsibility alone.” I sighed, rubbing my eyes, feeling the weariness of the emotion draining me. “That I never got to know you growing up. I would have liked that.”

She slipped her hand into mine, and I squeezed her fingers.

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for my accusations and anger,” she whispered.

I waved her off. “You had every right to feel angry. I get it.” I huffed out a sigh as I yanked on my hair. “The question is, where do we go from here?”

I met her gaze. She was watching me closely.

“I do that,” she said.

“Do what?”

“Pull on my cowlick when I’m upset. I noticed Grace and Heather do the same thing.”

Katy leaned forward. “All of your siblings do. You also have his frown lines when he’s upset. His eyes. You wave your hands, expressing your emotions the same way he does. You are really very similar.”

Ashley let out a shaky breath. “You want to know where we go from here? I would like to get to know them.” She paused. “And both of you.”

Katy’s eyes filled with tears, and she met my gaze. “We’d like that.”

“I’m not the terrible person you must think I am,” Ashley murmured.

I shook my head. “We don’t think that at all. We know how hard this has been.”

“It has been for you too, but I didn’t make the same allowance for you,” she pointed out honestly.