Page 9 of The Specialist

“No,” she whispered. “Best friends. Out celebrating her new job. They were going through a green light and were T-boned.”

“I am sorry.”

“After he died and she was told, I was walking past the lounge. She was in there, alone, staring out the window. She shouldn’t have been out of the bed. She had some bad injuries as well. I went in to tell her and help her back to her room, and she started to talk to me about him. Felix was his name. Ann told me they’d been friends for five years. Best friends who did everything together.”

I slipped my hand over hers, something telling me she needed my touch. She gripped my fingers again, holding tight. “She said that last week, Felix told her that he loved her. She told him she didn’t feel the same way. She thought of him as a friend only. She cared about him deeply, but not the same way. Apparently he informed her that was fine. He’d give her time to get used to the idea, and once she figured out the truth, he’d be waiting.”

Sofia was quiet, looking down at our clasped hands. “She said when she saw him lying on the gurney in the ambulance, she realized he was right. She was lying to herself. She loved him and couldn’t imagine her life without him. That no matter how scared she was, she was going to tell him when he woke up.”

“Except he didn’t,” I gently finished for her.

Sofia shook her head, her eyes bright with tears. “She said she would forever go through life regretting being afraid. That she hated the fact that he died thinking she didn’t love him. She said she would never get over losing him.” She was quiet for a moment. “I’ve never seen such heartbreak in someone’s eyes, Egan. The regret and pain were overwhelming.”

“You see yourself—you see us in her.”

“Yes,” she whispered.

I slipped my fingers under her chin. “Why do you resist how you feel, Sofia, iubirea mea?”

“Because I’m afraid.”

Unable to stop myself, I cupped her face. “You feel something for me,” I stated. It wasn’t a question. We both knew the answer.

She shut her eyes. “Yes.”

I leaned closer, my heartbeat getting faster. “Tell me why.”

“Everyone I have ever loved has left me.”

“I will not leave you.”

“You don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

A tear slipped down her cheek.

“They die, Egan. They always die.”

CHAPTER FOUR

Egan

I poured us each a brandy. Sofia liked the flavor, and it would help relax her. I had a feeling I was going to need the liquor when she told her story.

I sat beside her, handing her the glass, urging her to drink it. She swirled the glass in her hands, staring down at the liquid. I took it from her, recalling how cold her hands were earlier, and I warmed the glass in mine, then gave it back to her. She smiled in gratitude and took a sip, letting out a long sigh.

“You can tell me anything,” I encouraged her.

She didn’t speak for a moment, running a hand through her hair and shutting her eyes. I remained silent, knowing she was gathering her thoughts. What she was going to tell me was pivotal to our relationship. I knew that as surely as I knew how strong my feelings for this woman were.

“When I was in medical school, I met Darren. We were friends who became more. Our goals were so similar. What we wanted from life was the same. Become a doctor, do some good in the world. Get married, have kids. We were great partners. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.” She paused, meeting my eyes. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

I had to stifle all my jealousy. Lock it down. I didn’t want to think of Sofia with anyone else. I knew she had a past. I did as well. I had to remind myself that what she was telling me was exactly that. The past. I would listen, and then we could move forward. I kept my voice calm.

“Yes. I need to understand.”

“We were doing a rotation in the same hospital in the ER. A patient came in, out of his mind on drugs. We had to get security and restrain the patient. He kept trying to attack us, and it was the only way to treat him. One of the staff helping didn’t fasten the restraints tight enough on one side.”