Page 28 of Under the Radar

“Is there someone else?”

Hannah paused. “Yes.”

I felt a wall of disappointment swamp me. I hurried to the kitchen, not wanting to hear any more.

I had misread the signals. Hannah thought of me as a friend. She was affectionate and sweet. When I thought about it, she hugged and gave out cheek-kisses like they were nothing. I was the one who saw more than there was. Felt more.

Unable to stay, I grabbed a bottle of water and headed outside to the deck. I looked around, thinking of how I had jumped ahead. Seen us as a couple. Entertaining. I blinked away the moisture in my eyes.

What an idiot.

The door opened, and Hannah stepped out onto the deck. “Hey—you okay?”

“Absolutely. Just getting some fresh air. Rid my lungs of the paint.”

She stepped closer, and I turned, walking down the steps. I couldn’t take it if she touched me right now. I knew it wasn’t her fault. This was on me. But I was hurt and disappointed. I felt stupid. Buying a house to make a stranger happy. Making plans for a future that was never going to happen. All because she was pretty and soft and she smelled good. Because I thought she saw me. That she liked me the same way I liked her.

“Chase?”

I looked up at her. “Yeah?”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You look a little funny.”

“I’m good. I’ll be there in just a minute, and we can finish the first coat.”

She frowned, not looking convinced. “Okay.”

She headed inside, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I drew in some much-needed air and stared at the blue sky.

I had two choices.

Act like a dick and confront her. Make her uncomfortable and hope she moved out so I didn’t have to look at her every day and remember what an idiot I had been.

Or not say a word. Enjoy her for the person she was. Kind, sweet, and wonderful. Keep her as a friend, exactly the way I had hoped to feel when I’d advertised for a roommate. Eventually, this feeling would go away. It had to. I didn’t want her to move out. I didn’t want to lose her.

Even if she didn’t feel the way I did.

We could be friends.

Roommates.

Buddies.

Right?

* * *

It killed me to go back inside and keep painting as if nothing had happened. As if overhearing a few words hadn’t devastated me. I managed to smile and return Hannah’s teasing as we painted, although I knew it wasn’t as heartfelt as it had been before. I made sure to stay far enough away that there was no touching, no cheek-kisses or arm-hugs.

The living room and hall were totally done. Two coats. My room would be ready for a second coat in the morning. I planned to get up early and get it done before Hannah woke up. I wasn’t sure I could be in that room with her again. The close proximity was too much.

We went to Mack and Rosa’s place, the one-story house large and welcoming. The gardens were being prepped, and they had a big area of play sets for the grandkids. We sat around in the warm summer evening, eating lasagna and the multitude of other dishes she’d prepared. Rosa Borelli-Conner had no clue how to make only one dish for a meal. I ate like I was starving, even though the food on my plate tasted like sawdust. I played with the kids, laughed with Maxx and Stefano. Let Rosa fuss over me a little.

I stayed as far away from Hannah as I could without making it obvious. I sat beside Dom, and we discussed the roof and the deck. Charly was enthusiastic about the tools and other items I had taken her, planning on adding to the garage décor. I made sure Hannah and Cherry were okay, insisting on getting them second helpings and bringing them the delicious dessert at the end of the meal. I hid everything deep inside. I was good at that. I had done it for years with my brother and my father.

Charly nodded her approval, and I smiled at her, sitting beside Rosa.

“Thank you for doing all of this for us, Rosa.”