Page 77 of Under the Radar

He finished his dinner, wiping his mouth. “I watched a friend of mine die from a motorcycle accident. I’ve never had the desire to climb on one.”

I reached over, grasping his hand. “Chase, sweetheart, I’m sorry.”

He smiled ruefully, looking down at our hands. “I know Maxx and Stefano are careful. Dom too. They respect the machine and the power. They wear the safety equipment. Obey the laws. But I’ve never been able to get past what I witnessed. I tried. I signed up for lessons, thinking if I could ride one, I would get over my anxiety. But I couldn’t. Every time I was on the bike, my fear kicked in, and I froze. My instructor told me I would never be safe driving with that sort of worry on my mind all the time—and he was right.” Chase sighed. “I think there are some fears you simply cannot get over. You accept that and move on. Riding a motorcycle is one for me.”

I squeezed his hand, and he looked up at me, the sorrow in his expression tugging on my heart. “It’s okay,” I assured him. “I think it takes a great deal of strength to admit your fear. How old was your friend?”

“Eighteen. His dad gave him the bike. It was too big and powerful for him. He was showing off, going too fast, not wearing his helmet. I told him to stop, but he laughed and told me it was a dirt road. Grass. Nothing could happen. He was trying to impress a girl. He skidded, flew off.” He swallowed. “That dirt road and grass were hiding some rocks. He smashed his head and died two days later in the hospital. His dad never forgave himself. He moved away, and I lost my friend and the only adult figure I admired. Wes had even more influence on me, and I let him. I was grieving, and I didn’t care.”

“This was before you met Ellen?”

“Yes.”

I set aside my dinner and crawled onto his lap, embracing him. He wrapped his arms around me, holding tight. He had suffered so much growing up. He was abandoned, alone, and lost. That he was such an amazing human being was a miracle.

“I’m sorry about your friend. I didn’t mean to bring up such a bad memory.”

He held me closer. “Thank you for listening. I rarely talk about him.”

I sat back, holding his face between my hands. “You can talk to me about anything, Chase.”

He smiled, turning his face to kiss my palm. “Will you call me sweetheart again?”

“If you want.”

“I liked it.”

“Then I guess you have a new nickname. Cinnamon and sweetheart.”

He laughed. “I like that too.” He paused. “Can I really tell you anything?”

“Yes.”

He met my eyes, his anxious but determined. “I’m falling in love with you, Hannah.”

My breath caught.

“I can’t imagine my life without you. I know it’s fast, and I know you don’t feel the same way. But I hope you do one day. I thought maybe if you knew, it would help somehow.” He shrugged. “Maybe I’m being stupid, but—”

I silenced him, pressing a finger on his mouth. “You aren’t stupid, Chase. I’m falling for you too. So hard.”

For a moment, there was silence. I watched his eyes change. The anxiety left his expression, and joy replaced it. Wonder. A smile broke out on his face. “Really?” he whispered.

I smiled back at him. “I would say I’m beyond falling.”

“Say it, then, Hannah. Please say it.”

“I love you.”

He crushed me to him, burying his face into my neck. “I love you too.” He kissed me, trapping my face between his hands. He kissed me again. “So much, Cinnamon. You mean so much, I can’t even begin to express it. And it’s going to grow. I know it. You’re already my world. You’re going to become my universe.”

He kissed me again and held me. I felt the dampness of his tears on my skin, and I clutched him close. I liked the fact that he was emotional and not afraid to show me. To express his feelings. He wasn’t alone now, and he never would be again.

I wasn’t going anywhere.

Ever.

CHAPTER TWENTY