Page 61 of My Favorite Boss

“I need a shot. I’m having an allergic reaction, and I can’t really come there. I’m at the office.”

“Reaction to?”

I drew in a deep breath. “Latex and spermicide.”

There was silence for a moment. “I’ll be there in ten.”

I hung up and looked at Myers, who was staring at me, stricken.

“You should go.”

“But—”

“He’ll be here in a minute. You need to go. Now.”

She stood, grabbing her coat and purse. There was an awkward silence, then she hurried away. I shut my eyes, knowing I should reach out, say something. Comfort her. Tell her I would come see her after. But the outside door shut, and she was gone. I hung my head. Once again, my inability to communicate on a personal level had reared its ugly head, and I had hurt her feelings.

I would have to make up for it tomorrow.

If I survived tonight.

The shot took thirty seconds, and Sam waited until it was done before starting the jokes.

“I guess we don’t need to have the whole being safe talk. Well, not entirely, but…”

“Ha-ha-ha.”

“Anyone I know?”

“Nope.”

“In the office, huh?”

“Leave it alone.”

He picked up the little bag from the corner of my desk. “None of these will work for you unless you’re looking to die. I’m not even sure how much protection they offer.”

“I figured that. I’ll return them to the lady.”

He held up one. “This glow-in-the-dark one might be fun. Now you see it, now you don’t. Adult magic. Or, you know, a fun Star Wars game. Where is the lightsaber now?”

“Stop it,” I demanded, trying not to laugh. Myers would love that game.

He dug into his bag, handing me a box. “These, ah, will protect your junk. I really don’t want to have to look at it again.” Then he handed me a tube of cream. “This will calm the exterior itch. You’ll be fine in the morning. Ready to rock and roll again. Although you might be a bit sensitive.”

“Thanks.”

“Maybe check next time. And I suggest, once again, keeping an EpiPen on hand.”

I grunted, but I wondered if maybe he was right.

“I was caught up in the moment.”

“Obviously.”

“You wanna get a beer and a burger?” He grinned. “I mean, obviously, you can’t fuck the rest of the night. Might as well catch up.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you have the worst bedside manner around?”