Page 43 of Niall

“No,” I said with a shake of my head. “Not for a while.” Understanding his line of thinking, I added, “She’ll be sorry to miss the wedding, Finn, but she wouldn’t want you to stop your plans.”

“I was thinking of taking Una to Ireland for a few days. Visit Roisin. Let her have a party at the pub.”

“She’d love that.”

He paused, and I waved my hand. “I know what you’re going to say. I’ll stay here and run the show.”

He frowned. “I want you to join us, but⁠—”

I cut him off. “I know. With what happened, you’ve already asked too much of Roman. It’s fine. You take Una and visit with Mum. I’ll go after you get back. She’ll see us both—just not at once.”

He studied me. “And Anna?”

“What about her?”

“Will you take her to meet Roisin?”

I hesitated. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Finn, we’re not you and Una.”

“No, you’re not. Not yet anyway. Nothing is standing in your way—except you.”

“I’m not relationship material.”

“Funny, the past while, you’ve been exactly that.”

“I’m helping her.”

He met my gaze. “Bullshit. You’re sleeping with her.”

“That’s not a relationship.”

He took a sip of coffee, set it down, and held up his hand, ticking off his fingers.

“One, you refuse to let her leave your room. Two, you worry over her constantly and are as protective of her as I am of Una. Three, you buy her clothes. Four, you’re ready to beat the shit out of anyone—including me—if they so much as look too long. Five, you’re sleeping with her. You took her virginity.”

I gaped at him. “You know that?”

“She and Una talk. About everything. Una fills me in.”

“Jesus,” I muttered. “That was personal.”

He waved his hand. “It’s all personal, Niall. This whole fecking thing is personal. And emotional. Why can’t you admit you have feelings for this woman? She looks at you like you hung the moon, and frankly, you look back at her the same way. What the feck is stopping you?”

“I ruin every relationship I’ve tried to have. I just don’t connect on the same level. It’s as if there’s a wall. I can’t break it down.”

“Maybe it’s not you who needs to break it down. Maybe you simply need to allow it to happen.”

I shook my head, and he leaned forward. “Don’t you think I fucked up some relationships before Una? Jesus, I fucked up this one with her, and we found our way through, finally. We all have people we leave behind, Niall. We simply weren’t ready for them.”

I sighed. “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“But you are hurting her. You’re hurting yourself too.”

I stood and paced. “I keep thinking of my mistakes.”