Page 41 of My Orc Package Deal

With a little sigh, I acknowledged I had to let Kesha sleep—it was broad daylight, I could hear the boys in the kitchen, and as much as I wanted to hear her moan my name again, it wasn’t the time for it.

So slowly, gently, I untangled myself, sliding from beneath her, rolling her onto the pillows. If she was going to make a habit of sharing my bed—gods below, I hoped so!—then I would need to get some silk pillowcases for her.

I was considering what other changes I needed to make to ensure my—our bedroom was welcoming to her as I padded into the bathroom to wash and brush my teeth. Because I sure as shit wanted Kesha to return here tonight and every night until…

Until the end, I guess.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, dark eyes looking like I hadn’t had enough sleep and didn’t regret it. That long-ago day that I’d learned Sharra had finished off a bottle of tequila and wrapped her car around a tree, my first response had been relief that no one else—even me—could be hurt by her again. And I’d spent years after that dealing with the guilt of that response.

It was only now, years later, that I’d accepted that reaction and forgiven myself for it.

But her sudden death had taught me nothing was guaranteed; not marriage, not a future, not even a Mate Bond. If I lost Kesha tomorrow, I’d…

I closed my eyes, hating to even consider the possibility.

Losing her would devastate me. Open a hole in my chest not even Jay and Milo could fill. Why?

Because you love her.

The voice whispered in my head, clear as the streams near Bramblewood, and my eyes flashed open to glare at my reflection.

I loved her. I loved Kesha. I loved my wife.

The slow smile took me by surprise, and my chest felt light as I quietly dressed, letting her sleep.

In the kitchen, I puttered around making coffee. The boys had already eaten—I sighed, loading their cereal bowls from the sink into the dishwasher, wondering how the hells to get them to remember they needed to do this simple task—and were in the backyard, playing in the tree.

Briefly, I wondered about that fort they were supposed to make up there, and where they were going instead each morning. But soon, my mind wandered back to the female in my bed.

How could it not? There were signs of Kesha everywhere.

Her collection of tea mugs beside my two favorite coffee mugs.

Milo’s medication basket on the counter.

A pad of paper with a grocery list in both of our handwritings: Rye bread, mayo, and avocados in my block letters, soy sauce, baby carrots. and mouthwash in her looping red ink.

Sticky notes adorned with that same handwriting covered the fridge, and my fingers itched to move them into some semblance of order.

Hockey sign-ups Aug 1. Jay pads size?

Write the damn article!!!!!!!

How many bags of chips? 5? 7? Ask M

Follow up with Alyssa—when is she delivering her next romantasy??

Email P about LH origins in EI

Ask J for her mom’s recipe for potato bread. SO GOOD Jay wants to try

Mtg w/ AF Tues 16th 3pm bring boys for fun

My lips curled as I stood there in front of the refrigerator, sipping my coffee and trying to make sense of her codes. LH surely stood for lighthouse. I liked how this collection was a combination of reminders for her work—the article she was writing for the Gazette and her editing career—and her life here with us. Things she did not only to make our lives happier, but fuller.

My fingers rose to pull that last note from its spot. AF was probably Augustus Frapp, and she was doing research with him. But the fact that she was bringing our sons with her… Smiling, I put it back in its place.

Last summer, Jay had been old enough to stay home alone, although he’d spent the whole time in front of his computer…which is, I suppose, how he’d befriended Milo. But this summer, thanks to Kesha being here with them, the boys were able to spend their time exploring and building and playing roller hockey and swimming and doing all the things a childhood summer should be.