Page 41 of Curveball

I took the helmet and smiled. "Thanks, Theo! I swear I cannot leave anywhere without forgetting at least one thing." I placed my hand against my head.

Theo chuckled. "No problem. Y'all seemed like you had fun today, glad you were able to come out."

"Me too, and we did. Hadley loves animals, so this was great." I glanced back toward Walker's house.

Theo noticed. "This is the most I've seen him smile in a long time, you know. Probably the first time since he's been home with this injury."

My eyes drifted back to Theo. "What do you mean?"

Theo chuckled as he walked backward toward the barn. "I think you know." He winked. "Hopefully I’ll see you and Hadley out here again soon. Have a good night." And with that, Theo disappeared back into Walker's barn.

Hadley was spending the weekend with my parents, as she usually did once a month. If my mom had her way, Hadley would spend the night three times a week, but that was the unfortunate thing with co-parenting: I didn't have my child 24/7, making every day and night I did have with her precious.

It had been a week or so since Hadley and I were at Walker's barn, and she could not stop talking about it. She was in love with Walker as much as she was in love with his animals. I hadn't seen him around the vineyard or town this week, and I hated to admit, I was disappointed. I found myself searching down the street when I was coming and going from my office, peeking in at PrimCup to see if I'd catch him grabbing his usual coffee, and finding ways to discreetly pry information out of Laurel or Travis about his whereabouts. I tried to convince myself it was simply because I missed the friendship and that he had been my comfort for so long. Having him back in my life, even in such a small way, felt easy. Comfortable. Like slipping into an old favorite pair of jeans—soft, familiar, and somehow still a perfect fit.

My phone vibrated on my bathroom counter.

Ryan: Hey, I'll be at your house in ten minutes.

Me: Great, see you soon!

I finished my makeup and gave myself one last glance in the mirror. As I made my way to the kitchen to grab my purse, my blue design book stared back at me from the table. Not being able to resist, I picked it up and flipped through some of the pages. I still hadn't been able to wrap my head around what Walker keeping this meant or what that room was. Or maybe I didn't want to. I wasn’t sure I could handle the answer.

The sound of a car door shutting caught my attention. Ryan was here. I was desperately hoping tonight would go differently from the last time we’d hooked up, because I wanted to believe I was finally moving on.

Chapter 20

Farrah

Last night had not gone differently.

Now here I sat at Hops & Hills, meeting my sister for a drink, hoping she could help me sort through this mess I'd gotten myself into.

Stanley, the owner of the bar, studied me a moment as I plopped down dramatically at the bar in front of him. He looked back down at the glass he was drying. "Everything okay, Farrah?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. I could use a strong dirty martini, though."

He chuckled as he grabbed a martini glass and got to work. With Stanley busy making my drink, my sister sat down next to me, pulling me into a side hug. "Hey, Farr." She flashed Stanley a quick smile before turning her attention back to me. "I take it last night didn't go well since I’m here, and you already have Stan working on a martini."

"You could say that."

Stanley slid me my drink, and I tipped it back without hesitation. I picked up the toothpick of olives, sliding one olive off with my teeth. He turned around and started making my sister's usual margarita.

"Let me guess. You had sex with Ryan and pictured Walker?" A smirk pulled at the corner of her lips, her honey-brown eyes shining with delight.

Stanley slid the margarita in front of my sister. "You’re an angel, Stan." Aria smiled and took a sip.

"I'm glad my mess is so entertaining to you," I huffed. "Anyway, yes. I clearly have a problem. What is wrong with me? Ryan is hot as hell, we have a lot in common, he's good in bed, but for the life of me I can't…finish…unless Walker flashes through my brain." I released a heavy, defeated sigh. “I think I’m broken.”

Aria reached out and rubbed my back. "Nothing is wrong with you. This happened with Jake too, remember? And that relationship was never right. Maybe this is just your subconscious telling you Ryan isn't right, as great a guy as he is."

"Yeah, you’re probably right. But ugh! I just really wanted this to work with Ryan. I really like him, but I can't get there with him. I'm just so sick of being alone, A."

Aria's eyes softened. "I know, Farr, but you can't force it. Have you thought maybe you’re picturing Walker because you have unresolved feelings for him, and you both never really got any closure?"

I took a moment to let her words sink in. Did I still have unresolved feelings for Walker? I knew I still found him incredibly attractive, but that didn't mean we were right for each other. "Could be? I'm not sure."

"Well, maybe that’s what you need to figure out."