Page 46 of Curveball

"Look. At the end of the day, Farrah means a lot to you. Just go have dinner with her and focus on repairing your friendship, don't have any expectations." He grabbed a bottle of water from his counter and took a long swig. "And I agree with West. Just ask her about that Ryan guy. You both tend to avoid conflict and dance around issues or feelings. Just be up front."

He wasn't wrong. Sometimes I felt like a lot of shit could have been avoided if Farrah and I were better communicators.

"And Walk…" He stared directly at me through the screen. "She can't choose you if she doesn't know you're an option."

But did I want to be an option? Could I do this with her again?

I rang the doorbell, nervously shifting my weight from one foot to the other. I didn't know why the fuck I was so nervous; this was Farrah. I could hear little footsteps rapidly approaching the front door, followed by Farrah telling an excited Hadley to slow down. The door swung open, and before I could take a moment to take in Farrah and appreciate how incredibly beautiful she looked, her mini blonde twin grabbed my hand, yanked me inside, down the hallway, and out the back door to their backyard. Hadley climbed up onto one of the swings and looked up at me with big green eyes. "Walka, push."

Well, all right then.

Farrah stood propped up against the doorframe, arms across her chest, shaking her head and chuckling. "Sometimes I wish I could be as direct as my daughter."

I tried not to read too much into that comment.

"She definitely knows what she wants," I laughed as I pushed her on the swing.

"Well, if you two are good out here, I'm going to go finish up making dinner. It'll be ready in ten."

I nodded, and she turned around, disappearing into the kitchen.

Hadley and I spent the next five minutes on the swings, and then she had me chasing her down the slide. She decided I was the big bad wolf, and she was a little pig. I briefly saw my life flash before my eyes when I got stuck in the enclosed slide. I was a tad claustrophobic. Luckily, I managed to bend my leg in an unnatural way to dislodge myself, and now I was pretty sure I'd be feeling the effects of that in the morning.

I should probably stretch more.

Farrah popped her head out to call us in for dinner. I scooped a giggling Hadley up and threw her on my shoulders as we made our way to the table. "Mommy, Walk fun," Hadley said around a mouthful of lasagna.

Farrah's jade eyes flicked toward me, and she smirked. "Yeah, it looked like it, especially when he got stuck in the slide."

Hadley broke out in a fit of giggles. "Ya, that funny."

I reached over and tickled her some more. "You think that's funny, Hads?"

She nodded with the biggest grin on her sweet little face.

"Give a guy a break, I'm six-foot-four! Those slides were not made for someone my size. I did my best!" I threw my hands in the air dramatically, making Hadley giggle some more.

Farrah pointed her fork at me and then at Hadley. “All right, you two. Enough giggles. Time to eat.”

We spent the next twenty minutes eating and making small talk. I watched Farrah move through dinner with easy patience, nudging Hadley to take another bite, wiping her mouth with the edge of her napkin. She was gentle, steady. A natural.

When she looked at Hadley, the love was unmistakable. Deep and absolute.

What if I hadn’t chosen baseball?

The thought hit hard, uninvited. Would this have been my life? Us, here at our kitchen table, passing plates and trading smiles, our daughter between us.

Fuck.

I could see it so clearly, it hurt, the ache settling heavy in my chest. I wanted this. I always had. But I wanted baseball too. And there had never been a version of my life where I could have this—Farrah, a family, and the game at the same time.

The scrape of a chair against the floor pulled my focus back to the table.

"I'm going to put Hadley down for bed; she didn't nap today, so we’re on borrowed time," Farrah said as she reached out for Hadley's little hand. "Hady girl, say goodnight to Walker."

Taking me by surprise, Hadley released Farrah's hand and barreled her little body into mine and squeezed me tightly. "Night, night, Walk."

Was it too soon to already be in love with this little girl?