Page 51 of Curveball

Now Drake rolled his eyes. "Sometimes I don't know how I'm friends with you," he grumbled. He looked over at me. "So, James, you want to tell us why you're in Austin? You're never here unless we’re in-season, and since you're currently out… this is random."

"Needed a breather. My head is all sorts of fucked up." I caught them up on everything that went down with Farrah the other night.

"So, what's stopping you from trying it out with her again?" Cohen asked around a mouthful of pancakes.

“There’s more at stake now that she has a daughter. She left me once because baseball was too much—what’s really changed? I’m still a professional baseball player. Why can she all of a sudden handle it now?”

I stabbed a piece of pancake with my fork, pausing mid-air.

“I don’t trust her not to break me again. And I’m not the same guy I was back then. There’s been a lot of life lived in nine years. Are we even still compatible?” I sighed. “I worry she wants the twenty-one-year-old version of me. I’m fucking thirty now.” I shoveled the pancake into my mouth.

Drake took a sip of coffee. "All of that is valid, but you need to have these conversations with her… not us. We can't answer any of those questions for you; only she can. But let me ask you one thing."

I nodded at Drake to continue.

"Do you still love her?"

Without hesitation, I nodded. "I do. I don't think I ever stopped. But is love enough?"

"It's a start. You need to have a conversation with Farrah, lay it all out. What you want and what scares you. Everything. And if after that you both still choose each other… then everything else will work itself out."

Drake casually popped a piece of bacon into his mouth as if he hadn't just dropped the mic in relationship advice.

After breakfast with the guys, we put in a quick workout at the team gym before I got on the road and headed back to Primrose Hill. My head was still all over the place, but the conversation with Cohen and Drake helped me at least figure out my next move.

I needed to talk to Farrah.

I made my way down my long drive and parked outside my barn when I noticed Dean's work truck. I hopped out and was immediately greeted by his German shepherd, Coal. I knelt down and rubbed him behind the ears. "Hey buddy, good to see you, big guy." He flopped over on his back for belly rubs when I heard footsteps on gravel approach.

I looked up, and Dean stood over us with his arms crossed against his chest. "I swear there is no way that dog is an ex-K9," he mumbled under his breath while shaking his head in disapproval.

I laughed. "I'm sure he was a killer. He just adapted really well to his new cush lifestyle." I stood up and shook Dean's hand, pulling him into a hug. "Is it already vaccination time?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I just finished up. How was Austin? Addison mentioned you left town."

"It was nice to be back and see the guys for a bit." I gripped the back of my neck. "Needed to get away and clear my head."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Dean was better with the relationship stuff than Weston, and I often leaned on him for advice. He came from billionaire roots—heir to the VRA Media fortune—but had walked away to build his own life here in Primrose Hill. He had his fair share of experience with unwanted media attention and ill-intentioned people.

I didn't want to dive too deep into everything; I was mentally exhausted. "As I'm sure you’re aware, via my sister, Farrah and I are on good terms again. Things have progressed recently, and I feel like I'm at a crossroads with her. I don't know if I should give this thing between us a shot again or not."

Dean smiled. "Yeah, Addison may have mentioned something was going on." He tucked his hands into his jean pockets. "I'll say this. I had a lot of trust issues from a previous relationship and let it dictate my every move. I pushed your sister away because of it and almost lost her. I mean, yes, my dipshit cousin had something to do with that as well, but you get what I mean. If you love her, and I think you do… just take things slow, see where it goes. Don't let fear hold you back from something that could be everything."

Chapter 24

Farrah

Iwas scrolling mindlessly through my social media feed when a photo surfaced that made my heart stop.

Walker. With another woman.

They looked close—too close. Her body leaned into his, her hand resting on his upper thigh as if it belonged there. My chest tightened as I dropped my head onto my desk, the thud loud in my otherwise quiet office. Nausea churned low in my stomach.

God, I was so stupid.

Emma and Maddie appeared in my doorway almost immediately.