Page 64 of Curveball

Would I be at peace if I walked away from baseball right now?

And if I didn’t walk away… what would that cost me this time?

I wasn't so sure.

Chapter 29

Farrah

Iwas sitting on the top railing of the fence that surrounded Addison's outdoor riding arena, watching Lacey give Hadley a riding lesson. Hadley was in heaven when she was on a horse. Just like her mama. You couldn't wipe the smile from her face. Lacey had Pancake attached to a long longe line, going in circles around her at a walk. Today, they were practicing her balance and doing various exercises to help strengthen Hadley's seat.

"I think she's got the horse bug." Addison smiled as she climbed up the fence and settled next to me.

"Good thing I know a couple of people with horses to satisfy it."

Addison nodded, her eyes still on Lacey and Hadley. "So, how's everything going? I feel like I haven't seen you in a while, and it seems a lot has happened between you and Walk."

I laughed. "That's an understatement." I looked back out into the arena. Hadley was giggling at something Lacey said. "Everything’s going really well. I never thought we'd get here again. I feel really lucky, you know—to get a second chance."

"Girl, Walk would give you a thousand chances if you asked."

I looked over at Addison. "Maybe, but I'll do everything in my power not to mess up the chance I've got now."

Addison shifted on the rail to face me. "Do you think you’ll be able to handle everything that comes with his career? It can be a lot, and I know that was a point of contention with y'all before."

She had a point, but I felt confident this time around.

"I think so. I mean, if I want Walker, baseball comes with that. It isn't an option. He took me to a game, and I was able to connect with a few of the other girlfriends and wives. They've developed a support system with each other when the boys travel. They told me all about the fake media stories they’ve dealt with, the shitty comments from people, and how they handle it. It's cool to know they’ve all got each other's backs." I paused and grinned. "Also didn't hurt to hear they’ve all known about me for a long time. That Walker has never been with anyone serious, and that whole playboy phase was short-lived. He’s been all about his career."

Addison chuckled. "Yeah, I wouldn't worry about other girls, Farr. You’ve been the only girl for Walker since we were teenagers… maybe even before that." She glanced back out at Lacey and Hadley. "Has he talked to you about retiring next season?"

I turned to her, head tilted in confusion. "No? I thought next season was a for-sure thing?"

Addison shook her head. "Nope. He’s really struggling with the decision. He claims it’s because he isn't sure he’s as strong as he was prior to the injury. Doesn't want to disappoint his team and fans. He's scared he’ll be forced into retirement because he isn't the pitcher he used to be." She pinned me with a look. "But I think there’s more to the story. I think he’s also scared that if he chooses baseball, he loses you—again. That there isn't a world where you and baseball exist for him."

I took a moment to process what she was saying. Walker hadn't mentioned any of this to me, and I wasn't sure why. I thought we’d agreed to more open and honest communication, that we would tell each other what we needed or wanted.

But maybe I was the only one ready for that.

I didn't blame Walker for being scared; I’d walked out on him before because of baseball. What proof did he have that I wouldn't do it again? That this wasn’t just the adult version of us before everything fell apart again, because I couldn’t handle it?

This time was different, though. I felt it. I just needed him to believe it too. I wasn't going anywhere, and I didn't want such a major decision for him to be based on that fear.

I needed to find a way to show him I was all in, because words weren’t enough.

I’d been at the Guyer project all day and was exhausted. Walker was driving back from Austin tonight, where he’d been for a few days practicing with the team.

We’d agreed to meet at my place since Hadley was with me. I pressed a kiss to Hadley's forehead. "Goodnight, Hady girl, I love you."

A sleepy smile spread across her sweet face. "I wuv you too, Mommy." Hadley snuggled into her blanket as she closed her eyes.

I stepped out of her room, quietly shutting the door behind me, when I heard the front door open.

I made my way into the kitchen to find Walker raiding my fridge. I took a moment to take him in. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed him until he was standing right in front of me. And how quickly I wanted to close that distance.

His round baseball butt in gray joggers. A white T-shirt stretched across his sculpted shoulders. And the part that really turned me on—his Aviators hat on backward.

He closed the fridge and turned to face me, a knowing smirk on his face. "You see something you like, Wildflower?"