Page 24 of Capturing the Captain

He gets to his feet, placing one arm under my legs and the other under my arms and carries me away from this sad spot on the floor. Placing my head on his shoulder, my cry now silent, he carries me towards his apartment.

This is a bad idea. I know it is. But I don't have it in me to say no.

14

Josh

Last night killed me. The way Olivia looked so broken, so completely devastated at my admission. But the worst part, the final nail in the coffin, was Olivia, suddenly looking so controlled, her gaze on me, telling me to go fuck other girls. Fuck, that hurt worse than a check into the boards. But that wasn't my girl. She wasn't in there when she'd said that. I could tell from that look in her sharp eyes.

She wanted to hurt me, to push me away, and she succeeded.

That was until I heard her cries floating down the hall. She didn't mean what she had said. I knew that, and I still let her go.

When the cries didn't stop, I had to go to her. She could try to push me away again, but I wouldn't let that happen. Not when she needs someone.

To my surprise, she let me hold her. She wouldn't look at me, didn't need to. She just needed me and I was there.

I had lifted her, taking her back into my apartment, her body vibrating in silent sobs. I didn't set her down until we'd gotten to my bed. Taking her shoes off, pulling the comforter over her body and laying next to her, we stared into each other's eyes for a long while.

“I’m so sorry, Josh.” She began crying again. I can't stand seeing her in this much pain.

I pulled her into my body again and she wrapped her arms around me.

“It's okay, baby. Shhhh, it's okay.” I ran my hand up and down the smooth skin of her bare back. I could tell she was so emotionally exhausted after the last thirty minutes of hell. She needed to sleep it off. We’d just talk in the morning.

It wasn't long before her breathing had evened out, soft sighs slipping through her lips and I knew she was asleep.

I couldn’t sleep though. Thoughts swirling through my head all night long. Does she really believe she’s just another stat to me? Just another notch on my bedpost?

People always warned me that my past would come back and bite me in the ass. I just didn’t believe it. Fuck, I wish I had listened.

None of those hookups ever meant anything to me. We’d meet at a bar after a game, drink, go home, fuck and then leave. Nothing more than that. But saying that now, I realize I sound like a pig.

I wouldn’t blame Olivia if she left now and didn’t look back. I’d deserve it. But, I would spend every waking minute trying to prove to her that she’s it for me. She’s the only one I want. The only one for me.

Right now, it’s 6am. I’m finishing a heavy sweat session at the gym. I needed to clear my head, blow off some steam, and that’s how I do it. Gym or ice. That’s it.

As I’m getting my shit together, the door to the gym opens and in walks Ryan. I’ve never liked that guy. He moved here just over a year ago, and I immediately thought he was an asshole. Guess my assumption was correct.

I swear to fuck I wanna pummel his face after last night. This whole shitfest was his fault. Okay, not entirely his fault. If I hadn’t fucked around in the first place, none of this would have happened. But, he’s the reason it went tits up last night. I’m sure Olivia was already a wreck after seeing him but he had to push it. Was it to make her hurt? Jealousy of seeing her move on? I don’t get it, I really don’t.

“Josh.” Nodding in my direction, he sets weights up opposite me. I barely acknowledge him which I'm sure pisses him off more. “How is she?”

Is he fucking serious right now? I level him with a glare. “How the fuck do you think she is?” Standing from my spot on the bench, I stalk closer to him. “You have some fucking nerve. Fucking with her head like that.”

He’s standing now too, we’re inches apart. “Just trying to look out for my girl. Can’t see her get hurt, now, can I?” He smirks, waiting for me to rise to the bait. And I do.

“She’s not your fucking girl anymore, asshole.” Getting in his face, teeth bared, seething. “Just because you lost the chance with her doesn’t mean you have to ruin every good thing in her life.”

“I guess she didn’t know about your fuckboy personality, did she? Bet she didn’t take that well.”

“Get fucked, Ryan. Stay the fuck away from her.”

“No chance.” He’s grinning now. Dick. “Knowing we’re so close again, how can I stay away?”

If I don’t leave now, this guy is gonna end up with my fist in his face. He wants a reaction from me and he’s not gonna get it. Not again. I don’t respond, not giving him the response that he desperately wants. Instead, I grab my shit from the bench and leave the gym. So much for blowing off some steam.

Back at my apartment, it’s all quiet. Olivia must still be asleep. Grabbing a water from the fridge, I make my way down the hallway to my bedroom and that’s when I hear it. Soft cries from inside the closed door. Raising my hand to knock, another voice floats to my ears.