Page 143 of Resurgent

His eyes follow the movement. “What are you doing?”

“Leaving.”

“Why?”

I stare at him, unable to put all of my feelings and emotions into words right now. I listened to a Delta recruit bragging about going home next week because she just found out she’s pregnant. My counselor wasn’t available for me to talk to her while I spiraled, thinking about how I’d know the gender of my own baby by now if the attack never occurred. All the things I thought I’d been moving on from just smacked me in the face this morning, and I don’t know how to put any of it into words without sounding needy and dramatic.

So I settle for the simplest answer. “Because you clearly have a million things going on, and I don't want to be another one.”

His face changes. “That's not what you are.”

“Then what am I?”

He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, and that silence slices so deep right now.

I sling my bag over my shoulder.

“I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Annalise, wait.”

I walk toward the door, and his voice follows me. “You've always been good at leaving.”

I stop.

Every muscle in my body goes rigid as the room goes silent, and the next thing I hear is the door slamming shut behind me as I run out into the storm.

Chapter forty-two

Annalise

Every stride across the already dampening ground loosens the chains that have bound me for weeks. Every horrible memory. Every kind gesture that was a cloak for the pitying comments students said when they thought I was out of earshot.

“Annalise, stop!"

Like hell. If I stop, I won't be able to be held responsible for my actions.

“What the fuck is wrong with you! Are you trying to get yourself killed?”

Rain drenches my hair as I push myself faster, harder, anything to get away from the horrors that seem to chase me everywhere.

The mud squelches beneath my shoes, splattering up my calves, and if the cool weight on my head is any indication, I'm sure all over my back and ponytail too.

Just like it had in the forest after they had tackled me to the ground.

I feel their arms trying to pin me. The rope burning against my skin as I tried to get away. Not enough. None of it was enough!

The rain picks up, each cold drop hitting my skin harder as thunder rolls somewhere in the distance.

“Seiri, please!”

He’s fucking crazy if he thinks I’m going to slow down to hear anything he has to say right now.

A glob of mud splatters across my face as I cut across the glen toward the riding grounds. My lungs burn, a reminder of yet another one of my shortcomings.

“Annalise Corvin!”

The sound of his boots pounding behind me grows closer, but I’ve lost too much of my stamina since being bedridden to push any harder.