Page 15 of Resurgent

"Nothing is wrong with you." Tyr assures me gently as I run my hand through Matt's hair in the way that's always calmed him. "You've been through hell, and I'm sure you're in shock still recounting the attack and then having to process everything you've been told."

"Thank you," I tell Tyr. "For not reminding me how broken I am."

"You are NOT broken. You have had too many things happen to you in your short time in this world. You simply need time for everything to sink in."

"I love you. You know that, right? I don't think I told you that when I was in the cave, but I do. And I'll never be able to thank you enough for coming to save me, but I hope you can feel it."

"You saved yourself," he says, but I shoot him a 'seriously?' look through the bond.

"We both know I would be humiliatingly naked and dead in the mud if I hadn't been saved."

"Okay, fine. You might have been dead if your not-brother-not-husband and your…whatever you call your overly invested instructor, hadn't found you when they did." He mentally nudges me, "Can you imagine how embarrassing that would have been to be found dead by someone else in the state you were in? Reeking of sweat and blood…Not even covered in enough mud to spare the person who discovered your body from being blinded by your pale ass."

I snort so loud, I don't know how Matt wasn't startled awake.

"Gods, you sound like Matt! How much time have you spent together while I've been out?"

"He and Zest spent an unfortunate amount of time out here bothering me. Even together they aren't very smart, or maybe they'd lost their minds," he pauses, like an idea that's been escaping him has finally clicked, "That must be it! They were so lost without you, they thought I'd actually enjoy their company."

"Clearly, that was it," I agree, but I can feel a hint of a smile in his mind mixed in with all of his annoyance at feeling babysat. "I'm sorry I didn't immediately come out to see you. I promise I'll be out first thing tomorrow morning."

After a few minutes, Matt opens his eyes, and I immediately wonder how long he’s actually been awake—if he’d simply chosen to let me have this time with Tyr. I’m not sure how long we remain like that, him holding me, me still running my fingers through his hair, and neither of us saying a word.

With a much clearer head now, I try to remember signs of my pregnancy, but between the breakup, intense classes, and the whole Lucas incident—

"Mattey! Lucas..."

He startles a little at the first words I've spoken in what must be hours, but quickly recovers. Shaking his head, he says, "He graduated, he won't be a problem anymore."

"That's good, but that's not what I meant." I pause, searching for the right words to use so Matt doesn't feel guilty for almost killing Lucas a few days before Bravo graduation.

Unfortunately, I come up blank, so I spit it out as nicely as I can. "Lucas wasn't my stalker, Mattey. He didn't leave me either of the pigs, and he wasn't the one in my bathroom. Platt and Web admitted it was all them," I explain as Web's monstrous face before he showed off my bracelet flashes in my eyes. "Lucas was innocent," I admit, guilt turning my stomach.

Matt scoffs, taking me by surprise, "He may not have been your stalker or done those things, but he was far from innocent. He deserved to get that beating a million times over for far too many years, and I'm only mad I didn't do it sooner."

I give a little hmmm, still not sure how I feel about it all, before scooting back into my own spot on the bed and rolling to look at my best friend.

"How long have I been out, Mattey? How long has it been since Land Nav?"

"A week and a half," he answers solemnly. "The first week we didn't know if you would survive. The last few days—when you started waking up for short periods of time—we knew you would survive, we just didn't know what lasting damage there would be."

He draws in a long, deep breath before adding, "I guess we still don't."

"I'm scared," I confess, so quiet he'd miss it if he breathed too loud. "I don't want pity, and I don't think I can handle you or Sasha looking at me like I'm fragile. I can't handle that. I can't take you guys walking on eggshells around me because of the attack…or the baby."

"Never, Lee," he promises, tucking some stray hairs behind my ear. "I could never look at you and see anything other than how incredible you are."

When I smile and nod, but don't say anything else, he adds, "Are you okay on your own for a few minutes so I can figure out dinner? Sasha's been giving you some magical dietary supplement, but I think you're due for some real food. What do you think?"

"I'm not super hungry, but something small would be good."

"Okay. I'll be back soon, but just call me if you need anything," he says, passing me a phone I've never seen before from the nightstand.

"We couldn't find yours, so I bought you a new one. Sasha spelled her voice to match yours for the voice authorization and was able to get your same number assigned to this phone."

"Thank you, Mattey," I say, grabbing it and making a mental note to pay him back later as he walks out.

For a few minutes, I sit in one of the loudest silences I've ever known. All the things I've felt since waking up this morning screaming at me and battling for dominance.