Page 42 of Three Hockey Hotties

Even Benjamin, who chose a chair rather than being on the couch with us, had been a steady, reassuring presence. I had felt his eyes on me all night and somehow knew if I had needed anything at all, from a glass of water to a new car, he would have jumped up and provided it.

Their focused, steady caretaking is filling me up in a way I didn’t realize I needed.

I’ve been trying so hard to be independent and take care of myself and do everything on my own that I didn’t realize how long it had been since I was just held by someone.

Sadie: ooh good for you! ENJOY!! And prepare to tell me everything later! I love that you’re dating a lawyer! She adds a money emoji and the nail painting emoji.

Right. Benjamin kissed me. I suppose that’s a fair assumption.

But my first thought is that Kane would be really offended if someone just assumed Benjamin was my boyfriend.

But he wouldn’t be angry.

It’s an interesting realization and I think about that for a second.

No, he wouldn’t be angry. He’d consider it a challenge. He’d want to try to out-boyfriend Benjamin.

And wow, that could be fun.

Dash will also be jealous. But not mad at Benjamin. Not exactly.

Dash might be just a little disappointed he wasn’t there to see it.

I sit straight up. Where are all these thoughts coming from?

Is this all just wishful thinking? I don’t actually know any of them well enough to know any of this.

Do I?

Like does Dash like to watch? He does have that quiet, insightful air. I guess it wouldn’t surprise me.

Have they shared women before? Maybe that’s a regular thing.

They are really close. Like finish-each-other’s-thoughts close. And they’ve known each other for a long time. And they really are like three different parts to the perfect puzzle.

Maybe they do this all the time.

But Benjamin said they are not even usually this protective of women. He made it sound like I am a special case and that maybe that has taken them by surprise as well.

I really want that to be true.

I want this to be special.

And I want them all.

And…I can’t.

My phone dings with another text.

Sadie: Btw, when can I see you? When I found out your ceiling caved in, I freaked out. I need to see you’re okay for myself! How about this weekend?

She’s dramatic, but I love her. I read the message three times, not because I don’t register it, but because it hits me how important Sadie is to me.

What we went through together was big, something most people don’t share. Being sick together and facing death at such a young age has a way of bonding two people.

I need her. She’s someone I want with me forever.

Like Dash, Kane, and Benjamin are to each other.