Page 99 of Three Hockey Hotties

Magda shrugs and lifts her Long Island iced tea to her lips. “Oil and gas prices were through the roof in those days so road trips to Milwaukee or Chicago were out of the question. We just all stayed in the neighborhood and banged each other.”

In spite of the fact that I had sex with three different guys last night, I’m still a little speechless.

I can’t imagine just partner swapping or having group sex every weekend with casual acquaintances.

Because what I am doing with Kane and Benjamin and Dash isn’t just sex. It’s friendship and feelings and while that feels really, really amazing, it’s also very scary.

“Cheers to that,” Sadie says, raising her wine glass and tapping it against Magda’s. “Gotta stay warm during a freezing Wisconsin winter.”

Magda clinks her glass against Sadie’s. “Cheers. But leave poor Abby alone. She’ll tell us if she wants to.”

I pick a cashew off of the platter I’ve made and pop it into my mouth, gathering my thoughts.

“Boo,” says Sadie. “But fine, only tell us what you want too,” she adds. Begrudgingly.

She looks so disappointed I laugh. “It wasn’t all three at once. It was…one after the other, but in the same room. And that’s all I’m saying!”

Sadie nods. “Thank you for sharing and I respect your right to privacy. Though can you at least tell us who has the biggest dick?”

Magda cackles. “I think we can guess at that.” She stabs an olive with a toothpick and points it at Sadie. “Say who you think on three.”

“You too,” Sadie says. “One, two, three.”

“Dash,” they both say at the same time, then let out peels of laughter.

It’s true, of course, though I’m not going to discuss my boyfr—my Dash’s—dick with them. It just doesn’t feel right.

When I don’t laugh with them, Sadie’s face falls. Magda gives me a look of concern.

“Honey, we’re just teasing,” she says. “We can change the subject.”

I have zero explanation for it, but there are suddenly tears in my eyes. I nod, blinking hard so I don’t actually cry.

“Abs, babes, I’m so sorry.” Sadie puts her glass down. “I don’t know when to shut up sometimes. I won’t ask any more questions.”

Shaking my head I press under each eye with a cocktail napkin. I think I’ve stopped the tears before they started. I look around the unfamiliar but beautiful apartment that is a gift from Benjamin.

“A week ago I didn’t even know them.”

Magda nods. “You’re overwhelmed. That’s normal, sweetheart. Love comes rushing at you sometimes.”

Love.

The word scares the absolute shit out of me.

Sadie knows that. She tucks her hair behind her ears and eyes me. “You want this to be a real relationship and you’re scared, right?”

Wrapping my arms across my chest, I nod. I’m wearing Kane’s hoodie. It’s swallowing me, but I can smell his scent on it. He had me slip it on first thing this morning when we took Linda for a walk, and I just never took it off.

“What if they fall in love with me and I get sick again?”

“What if they get sick?” Sadie counters. “Would that mean you would be sorry you got together with them?”

“No, of course not.” I sigh. “But I don’t know. It would be terrible to lose them. Maybe I wouldn’t survive it.”

“You can survive anything. Look what you already have survived.” Sadie’s expression is fierce. “You can’t just shut yourself off from real, meaningful relationships because you’re worried you’ll lose someone, or they’ll lose you.”

“Honey, we all lose people,” Magda says, fingering the bedazzled peace sign necklace she wears every day. “It’s just a part of life. And if it didn’t hurt to lose people that would mean you were a goddamn sociopath.”