Page 38 of A Haunting at Keystone Manor

I nod again.

“Words, Jake,” he chides softly.

“Yes, please,” I say, and he crawls onto my lap and wraps his arms around me.

“This is my favorite place in the world,” he whispers against my neck.

“Mine too, brat.” I flex my fingers on his waist. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” I pause, and he waits patiently for me to continue. “If I wanted to take our relationship to the next level, is that something you’d be interested in? I know we haven’t known each other long, but I like being with you. I trust you.”

His expression turns serious as he looks at me. “I want that so much. Are you sure you’re ready for that? I don’t want to push you too fast or hurt you.” He places a hand on my cheek, gently rubbing it with his thumb. Soothing.

“I’m sure. I’ve thought a lot about it, and I want it. I don’t want his hands to be the last ones on me. I want it to be yours. But only if that’s what you want, too.”

“Okay. Yeah, I want that too. I’ll make you feel so good, I promise.”

I believe him. If I had any doubts, I wouldn’t be sitting here with him on my lap, allowing him to touch me like I’m something precious. He never makes me feel like a piece of property. He backs off when I need space. For the first time in my life I feel powerful, like my words matter to him. They’re not just something he’ll use against me later. I wish I could articulate that to him, but I don’t know how, so I give him a light kiss on the lips instead, and hope he can feel it like I do.

Chapter twenty-six

The Talk

Jake

Alex and I are going to have sex. Maybe. To say I’m nervous would be an understatement. He’s small and pretty and looks so damn breakable. I know he isn’t, but I want to treat him with the care he deserves. The thought of him being pinned under someone else’s brutality makes me sick, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him.

I know we need to discuss what we want to do. Having boundaries is important. I will make sure never to cross his, but I need to know what they are first. Regardless, I don’t want to have this conversation.

I clear my throat and study a spot on the carpet, suddenly feeling shy and more than a little foolish. It’s absolutely hideous. I swear it’s straight out of the 1800s, just like the rest of this house. Did carpet exist back then?

“We need to talk about boundaries, I guess.” I hold my breath while I wait for what I hope is approval. He doesn’t let me down.

“I agree. I never want to do anything to make you uncomfortable.” He takes my hand and gives it a light squeeze before letting it go. He sits on my lap patiently, and I know he’s trying to give me space to gather my thoughts.

If I can just blurt it out, this conversation will be over faster. “I want to have sex,” I say. “With you.”

He smiles brightly at that, eyes crinkling at the edges. “Okay, I’m glad we established that. I want to have sex with you, too.” I don’t go on, so he takes over for me. I steady my breathing, feeling like a fool for acting like this, but now that we are about to do this, I’m finding it hard to tell him what I need. “First thing’s first. Are you a top or bottom?”

I scratch my head and look away momentarily, the question catching me off guard. I never considered that I had that option. “Um, top I guess. I don’t know. I've bottomed before, but I didn't like it.” I wince. God, words are hard right now. “I don’t want to bottom. Not right now. I want to be inside you.”

“Okay, I can work with that,” he says easily. “I like bottoming, so we’re off to a good start.”

I heave a sigh of relief. “You’re so bossy and confident, I just figured you’d be bossy in the bedroom too.”

“Oh I am, make no mistake about that. Position isn’t about who’s more dominant. I just like letting someone else do all the hard work sometimes. And Jake, what you experienced wasn’t sex. What we do will be.”

Nodding I continue, feeling more confident. “I like it when you take control, get me out of my head. I don’t want to be tied up, though. No handcuffs, no rope, no blindfolds.”

“No restraints, done.”

“Please don’t pull my hair.” I choke on those words.

“I will never pull your hair.”

I pause, thinking. “I don’t want to be choked or have my breathing restricted.” He’s nodding like these requests are the most reasonable thing in the world. They should be. I look at Alex and he’s getting a murder twitch in his eye, but I know it’s not directed at me. He gives me all the time I need to continue. “I don’t know if I can do this,” I whisper. I absolutely hate being weak in front of him. This is going to be terrible sex for him.

He rubs a hand up and down my arm. “You're doing great. Is there anything else?”

“I don’t think so. I don’t know,” I say, chewing nervously on my bottom lip.