Page 90 of Chasing Clouds

“Right there, ten yards in front of us.” I point to the exact spot.

Slowly, Reid and I stand. He brushes the dirt off of us as I continue to stare and grin. Reality is, I know she’s not really there . . . but then again, maybe she is.

“I wish you could see her,” I whisper to him. I know he’s looking hard in the same direction I am, but he never will. His fingers thread through mine as he gently embraces me.

“I do see her,” he whispers in my ear.

I turn to look up and find his expression is affectionate, tender, pure acceptance.

“I see her in you and through you, and not because of the way you look, but because of how you are. From all the stories you’ve told and all the memories shared, it’s the kindness that radiates from you that I’m certain radiated from her as well.”

His words touch a delicate part of my heart, and I’m rendered near speechless.

“I still wish you could have met her.”

“Me too, princess. Me too.”

Silence falls over us as I turn back to look at Clare and she stares at us. Never, not once since I started seeing her after her death have I been nervous to talk to her, but today I am. There’s something different; something’s about to change.

“So, you’re finally making that move,” Clare says, popping her hip out and placing her hand on it.

A laugh bursts out of my mouth and Reid startles next to me.

“Yeah, I guess you could say I am.”

“Good for you.”

“Nice dress,” I state, stepping away from Reid and closer to her.

“I think so.” She giggles, twirls, and the skirt flares out. It’s the strapless bridesmaid’s dress I had picked out for her and torn from a magazine. She wore it at our wedding and I remember thinking she looked so beautiful then, but she’s even more beautiful now.

“Why am I the only one who can see you?”

She tilts her head and thinks about her answer. “I don’t know, but then again, I don’t make the rules.”

“Will I see you again?” I have to ask, have to know.

She shrugs her shoulders and gives me a small smile. She doesn’t answer my question, but deep down, something tells me this is it. I knew it was coming; it was only a matter of time.

She looks past me, and I know she’s looking at Reid. Warm salty tears flood my eyes as I so desperately wish my past could meet my future. To have them both in the same place at the same time—it’s like a dream come true, although it never really will.

“You’re going to be all right,” she says, returning her loving gaze back to me.

I know with absolute certainty she’s right, but then again, I also know, “I already am.”

She smiles as the breeze around us lightly picks up, blowing her white blonde hair across her face.

I never thought I’d be ready to let her go, to say goodbye, but now that we’re here, in the field, I realize it couldn’t have happened anywhere else. It’s idyllic. It’s destined.

“I know,” she says. “With these new superpowers I have, I know all kinds of things.”

I laugh at her wit; it’s so Clare to try to keep moments like this light and serene.

“Are you going to share and tell me these things?” I ask, hopeful for more of anything she’s willing to give.

“No way. Earning them is like a rite of passage, but you’ll see one day—one day really far from today.” She takes her time enunciating each word. Smiling, her crystal blue eyes bounce back and forth between me and Reid.

It’s hard to hear this because her life was cut short, but I can’t help the swell of emotion that blooms knowing my time with him is near infinite. It makes surrendering to his love that much more effortless, and I’m grateful for this little gift she just gave me, gave us.