Page 45 of Tiger Lilies and Tight Ends

“Yep. I had gone to tour the college, and Lance let me crash at his place, which also happened to be Tyler’s.”

It’s funny because when I think about that trip now, I remember details about Marissa that I didn’t necessarily before. She was very sweet to him, and she had no problem leaving him that night so the four of us, Lance and Casey, could spend some time together. I thought she was being nice, but he told her she didn’t need to leave. He wanted to include her, but she claimed she had to study. He was disappointed, but at the time, I thought she didn’t notice, when now I guess I’m realizing she did, but chose to ignore it. I wonder how often during their time together she did that.

But it was that night, after Lance and Casey went to bed, that my crush on Tyler amplified. Tyler walked me all over the campus, in the dark, while we drank milkshakes. He told me about his favorite places and things he loved about school, and when we got back to the apartment, instead of going to bed, he suggested a movie. Together on the couch, him on one end and me on the other, we shared a blanket and laughed for hours over dumb comedies.

“What was he like back then?” This comes from Camille.

“Pretty much the same as he is now. He was kind to me then, always cracking jokes to try to make people laugh, and he was just as committed to football then as he is now.”

“Has he ever dated anyone?” she asks. I bet Sophie already knows this answer from Jonah.

“He dated Marissa for a long time, but I don’t think he’s dated anyone seriously since. But then again, I’ve never asked, so I don’t know.”

Just saying her name has my blood boiling under my skin. I’ve heard of a lot of terrible things happening to people over the years, but what she did to him takes the cake. She manipulated him in a way to be exactly what he wanted and needed to make him fall in love with her. And he did love her. I saw it firsthand. But to be so deceitful, to steal his identity and his things, to try to expose him to the world through blackmail, no wonder he is the way he is. Everyone is a red flag to him. He firmly believes trust is earned and not given, and it takes a lot for him. I feel honored to be given that trust.

“Well, I know,” Camille says. “He hasn’t dated anyone, according to Reid, and he’s known him a lot longer than Jonah.”

He hasn’t dated anyone. I can’t decide if this makes me happy or sad. Happy for me, which is ridiculous because there is no us, but sad for him because he’s found himself living alone and not sharing himself with anyone. Tyler is so kind. I’ve seen how much he loves Lance. He has so much to give to someone.

“He really is the best, too,” Sophie says. “He’s so good with Vivi. I know without a doubt he’d make a great father one day.”

Why are they saying all of this to me? Are they somehow hoping that maybe we’ll start dating? Well, joke’s on them. Tyler has never looked at me with any interest. He’s been a stand-up guy and very platonic as long as I’ve known him. I'm certain any looks I might have seen or wished to have seen come from this innate sense of brotherly concern. Although, should those looks change, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.

Being around Tyler in the capacity that we have been, it’s been hard not to acknowledge my attraction to him. That teenage crush, there’s a reason it lingered for so long. It’s been knocking on the door wanting to make a reappearance, and I’m doing my best to keep it at bay. It would be so easy to give in, but what does that do for either of us? Nothing.

However, just the thought of giving in to it, to him, has my cheeks heating. Any red-blooded female in my position would get lost in thought too, thinking about how he could physically wreck me, and I’d love every second of it.

Roommate.

Brother’s best friend.

Athlete.

All reasons I remind myself of why this is a bad idea and why I purposely don’t think about it.

“You should come to the game with us on Sunday,” Camille announces as she picks up a small piece of a Cuban sandwich.

Go to the game? Just thinking about being spotted in public has anxiety creeping in under my skin. I know I went to the team barbecue, but that was a contained space. This feels a little more like tossing me out into the wild.

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

I know I shouldn’t have, but I did read some of the comments about me. While a lot were curious about what I was doing there, just as many shouted their opinions about me being a traitor.

“Why? You’ll be with us,” Camille says like it’s no big deal.

“Are you kidding? Someone will see me, and then even more pictures will be taken and then leaked.”

She looks at me thoughtfully. “So? You can’t stay locked up forever. Even as much as you try, eventually, someone somewhere will see you, and it will all have been for nothing. Besides, didn’t you and Dean split up a while ago?”

“Yes, I moved out at the beginning of May.”

“See! That’s four and a half months ago. There’s no reason for you to stay hidden away any longer, and we won’t let you. It’s time to get back out there and live your life. It’s also really fun to cheer on the team. While they are focused and play hard, they’re also a bunch of clowns.”

“Yes! Jonah told me they’ve been practicing touchdown dances.” Sophie shakes her head.

“Touchdown dances?” I ask them.

“Think synchronized group dancing,” she tells me.