Page 66 of Tiger Lilies and Tight Ends

“I don’t think you’ll lose readers. People keep coming back because they like your stories, not because they keep waiting for the day you show your face. That’s the thing too about indie books. There are so many that people don’t have to hang their hat up on just a few authors. They can move on easily and find someone else. There’s no shortage of material. The market is flooded. And the fact that you’ve found your way to the top says a lot about your craft, not your anonymity.”

I know she’s right. The industry is very saturated, and readers don’t have to be picky or selective because there’s always something else or something new to read.

“I think I want to do the signing,” I tell her, my nerves firing at just saying those words. I’ve been leaning toward it for days, and seeing and feeling Tyler’s reaction to the news made me proud.

She sits up straight and pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head. “Really!”

“Yes. Why shouldn’t I? I am proud of what I’ve built. People want to celebrate that with me, and I should let them.”

“You absolutely should! This is the best ever!” she squeals.

“I know there will be a period when my past and my future overlap, but eventually, it’ll pass. It has to. Besides, I did this. I wrote these stories, and no one can take that away from me. I’d like to believe that my talent will overshine any other noise that may surface.”

“Damn straight. It’s going to be like Dean who? You are a rock star at telling a story. And I’m certain there are more readers out there who are a fan of yours than a fan of his. I’d argue most don’t even know who he is. Please tell me I can come too. I want to be there.”

Wouldn’t that be amazing. The industries aren’t connected in any way, and while I know some will know him, just maybe my readers aren’t sports people, so they just won’t care.

I laugh. “Wouldn’t have it any other way,” I tell her, grabbing the can of sunscreen to spray my legs. We might be in the shade, but that doesn’t mean we won’t burn.

“Since you’re laying it all out there, are you ready to talk about Tyler yet?” She wags her brows up and down, drops her sunglasses back in place, and lies back on the lounge chair.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about him. I’m just not sure what to say.”

“Girl, you know you played dirty last night showing up to Tyler and Dean’s game in Tyler’s number. I can’t even begin to imagine what Dean’s face looked like when they flashed the two of you up on the big screen before the game.”

I wasn’t aware that we were on the screen until later when Lexi told me. They caught us at the roped-off family-and-friends section before the game, like they always do. The video clip wasn’t long, but it was caught from behind me. You see Tyler smile at me as he approaches me, his name across my back, and our pinky shake.

“You know, I didn’t wear it to provoke him. I’ve moved on and let it go. But it did cross my mind a time or two that he might see it, or his teammates would tell him, and I wondered if he would care.”

“Of course he cared. And based on that little showdown on the fifty-yard line that’s all over every media outlet there today, I’d say he was green with envy.”

“Which is stupid because we’ve been over for a long time.” I push my sunglasses up my nose, they’ve slipped a little, and stare out at the pool in front of us. I’ve often thought is there a moment when things changed, when our future was done, but I can’t really pinpoint anything either of us did. I guess it’s what we didn’t do, and that is nurture the relationship and each other. In many ways, I’m just as guilty as him. If I’d spoken up more, championed for myself, maybe he would have stepped up. Or maybe not. But I did learn through my time with Dean what I want and what I need. So there is that.

“Has he reached out at all?”

“I don’t know. I blocked him.” I still feel a sense of peace from that decision.

Morgan throws her head back and laughs. “Oh my God, you didn’t tell me that. I wonder if he realizes it or if he thinks you’ve just been ignoring him.”

“Probably ignoring him, because why would anyone ever block the great Dean Davis.”

“I wonder if there’s someone you can ask about that interaction on the field. Tyler was mic’d up, so there should be a recording of it somewhere.”

“I don’t know. I also don’t know if I want to hear it. It’s weird. We didn’t end on bad terms, it’s almost like we didn’t end because there was nothing to end. I decided to leave and all he said was goodbye. If he did say something to Tyler, I don’t want to hear it. I’ve moved on. Does that make sense?”

“It does, and Lance did not steer you wrong when he told you to head to Florida.”

“I know. I’d forgotten how much I love it here. Has this summer been hot? Yes, but I haven’t noticed it too much.” Leaning forward, I flip the flag up. It’s time for another drink and maybe a snack.

“You haven’t noticed because you’ve been too busy staring at Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome. Nashville, however, has been hotter than the devil’s armpit. I swear it’s like being in an oven with no way out.”

I laugh at her analogy, and as I look over at my oldest friend, I watch as she rolls her lips between her teeth. Instantly, my eyes burn because I know she only does this when she’s trying to hold herself together.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just so proud of you. Since you’ve been here, you’ve changed.”

“Is that a bad thing?”