Page 58 of The Scars We Heal

“It is, thanks. Good luck out there today.” She gave me a small wave before spinning on her heel and heading in the direction she came from.

“Make some noise for this next cowboy!” the rodeo announcer called out over the thrum of music and cheers of the crowd. “Coming all the way from Silver Creek, Montana…Jake Flynn!”

I looked up at the sky, a slight drizzle of rain pattering on my skin. There weren’t many clouds overhead, so I hoped the rain would ease up. Not that I minded wrestling calves in the mud. I just preferred it when the arena was dry.

I was borrowing one of Colter’s horses for this rodeo. We’d competed together several times, so we were pretty well in tune with one another. I patted his neck as we backed into the roping box, the calf I’d rope already loaded into the chute.

Today was day three of the Pendleton Round Up, and we’d done fairly well. Hopefully today would get us to the short-go tomorrow, but anything could happen in these competitions.

Resting my string between my teeth, I readied my rope, taking some steadying breaths before I nodded to signal for the calf to be released from the chute.

With one last deep breath, the chute was opened and the calf sprinted toward the other end of the arena. Trigger followed quickly behind, and I swung my rope over my head. In just a few strides, I took my shot, the rope flying through the air until the loop settled over the calf’s neck then tightened. I dallied my rope and hopped off the horse, sprinting over to the calf.

I picked it up, muscles screaming with exertion, before laying it down on its side to give myself access to the legs. Once I’d tied three of them together, I threw my arms in the air so the clock would stop. All I had to do now was wait the six grueling seconds to see if the calf would break free or if my knot would hold steady.

I mounted, walking Trigger a few steps forward to loosen the slack on my rope. He was a good horse in that he didn’t get restless and start to walk backward or forward until I wanted him to. Sometimes you’d see horses get antsy and take steps backward, dragging the calf along the dirt and letting them break free. It never hurt the animal, but if the calf broke free, it was definitely enough to break an old cowboy’s heart.

The rodeo announcer called out my time of eight-point-five seconds, and the field judges started untying the calf.

Cheers from the crowd drowned out everything around me, and I basked in the excitement of a clean, money-winning time.

The only thing that would have made this day better was if Caitlin was here to see it, too.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

caitlin

This will be fine. It won’t be bad. It’s just a couple days by yourself, no biggie.” I spoke the words aloud in an attempt to hype myself up for my solo trip and not turn the car back around.

I would have loved to bring Whitley with me, but the stipulation of the bucket list item was to take a trip completely alone. No kids or anyone. At first, I thought it was a bit silly. Why wouldn’t I take Whitley with me? I wanted her to have new experiences. But then I thought back on the past four years. With the exception of the last couple months, I’d rarely had the opportunity to be alone, and even after moving to Silver Creek, the most I’d had for myself was a few hours.

When I dropped my daughter off at my mom’s place, I’d almost said screw it and canceled the plan. Guilt washed over me at the idea of leaving her with my mom again, but Mom insisted I go.

“You don’t get many opportunities to do things for yourself as a mother, Cait. You know this as well as I do,” she’d said. “Go. Have fun. We’ll be here when you get back.”

My plan was to spend some time in Paradise Valley, and since it was so far from Silver Creek, I’d be staying overnight in a cabin Jake had booked for me. The idea of staying in a remote area by myself was a little frightening, but he insisted everything was safe. It wasn’t that I was scared of a serial killer or anything, but I grew up in Montana, and the area I was headed to was in bear country.

To take my mind off my anxieties, I mentally reviewed my itinerary. Today, I’d drive into Bozeman and spend the afternoon there. Clay’s wife, Abby, and I were going to get drinks and do a little shopping. In the evening, I had plans to relax in a hot spring. I was considering this my yes day as well, since I was doing everything for myself.

I was just passing through Billings, staring at the horizon where the prairie flatland of eastern Montana began to blend with the mountains, when my phone rang with a call from my mom.

“Is everything okay? I can turn the car around,” I said in lieu of a greeting.

My mom laughed on the other end. “Everything is fine, Cait. I just wanted to call to see where you were and how the drive was.”

“Mom, you can’t just randomly call when I’m already worried about leaving,” I protested. “The drive is good, though.”

“Good,” she sighed. “I forgot how quiet and lonely it gets without all you kids. Having Whitley here is such a blessing. And soon, little Levi will be growing up and running around to play with her.”

“They really do grow up fast, don’t they?” A tear beaded in the corner of my eye, and I blinked it away. The past four years of Whitley’s life had already gone by so fast.

“It feels like just yesterday you kids were running around the ranch and getting into all sorts of trouble.”

I smiled thinking of all our antics. They didn’t stop once we’d reached high school or even college. Clay and I used to make Colter do all sorts of things for us. My favorite was when we sent him down the road to buy beer from some college kids and he came back empty-handed. He’d paid the guys but forgot the case of beer. I guess it was some kind of karma from the universe for sending our underage brother to do our bidding.

“Are you still there, honey?” Mom asked.

“Yeah, I’m here.”