Page 74 of The Scars We Heal

She looked down toward the ground then back up. Her lips curved into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks, Jake,” she whispered. Then she disappeared, swept away by her bridesmaids, only to walk down the aisle toward the wrong man a mere fifteen minutes later.

CHAPTER THIRTY

jake

PRESENT DAY

That’s not…that can’t be,” Caitlin stammered as her brows pinched together. “What do you mean you wanted to tell me?”

Heart heavy in my chest, I hung my head, taking a long, deep inhale before raising my gaze back to hers. “Before the ceremony. When we saw each other in the hallway.” Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued. “I wanted to tell you not to do it, but you looked so beautiful and so happy at that moment.”

“How long?” When I didn’t answer other than a brow raising, she elaborated. “How long have you…had feelings for me?”

“Cait.”

“No, Jake. I want to know. I need to know.”

I shook my head, knowing the truth would only hurt. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.” The pained whisper fell from her lips.

Unable to meet her eyes, I turned my head away. “Since freshman year of college. At that house party. I-I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, and…”

She sucked in a breath, and I looked up as hurt flared in her eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was for herself or for me. Maybe both.

“Say something,” I pleaded when the silence that had fallen between us became too much.

“I wish you would have told me.” Her words tickled my skin as a tear fell from the corner of her eye. I reached out, catching it with my thumb, my hand lingering on her face.

“You had a boyfriend! You were building a life for yourself. I didn’t want to get in the way of that.”

“You wouldn’t have been in the way, Jake.”

“All I’ve wanted is for you to be happy. Even if I wasn’t the person who was giving it to you. Even if I wasn’t the one for you, you were always going to be the one for me.”

I’d done my best to move on since she married him, tried to distract myself with other people, but no one measured up to her. It wasn’t fair—would never have been fair—to Caitlin, to any other woman, to myself. The proof was right in front of me all along. I hadn’t needed to be with Caitlin, to feel her lips on mine, to lose myself in her body, to know that she was the one for me.

“Jake?” she murmured.

“Yeah?”

“Will you just shut up and kiss me?”

Our hands moved at the same time, hers tangling in my hair and mine cupping her jaw, as I crushed my lips to hers.

This kiss wasn’t soft or slow like the one we shared earlier. No, this one was desperate, hungry, maybe even a bit angry for what we’d lost. What we could try to make up for, but would always come up short because she’d spent nine years married to a man who didn’t love her as much as I could have.

Her teeth scraped against my bottom lip, and I tasted the tang of copper on my tongue when I licked the sting away.

Caitlin’s grip on my hair tightened as the kiss deepened, our tongues clashing and exploring. One of my hands drifted to the back of her neck as the other gripped her chin, tilting her face up to me.

“I’m still upset with you,” she mumbled before her lips met mine again.

“I know, darlin’.” My hands roamed down her body, tracing the curve of her breasts and hips. “I’ll make it up to you, though. I swear it.”

“Good. You better.” Her gaze swept up from my lips to my eyes, and our foreheads pressed together.

“Where do you wanna go, Cait?” I mumbled into her neck, pressing kisses against her skin. Every so often, I’d nip at the sensitive flesh, soothing the sting with my tongue.