Page 34 of Cabin Fever

Mom starts with marriage advice, which seems like a bold move, but is actually a Quinn girl inside joke. When she could finally function again after Dad left, she’d say things like, “Girls, listen to me. Never trust a man who says he doesn't dance. He dances, he's just saving it for someone, so make sure it's you.” Then we’d laugh and have a dance party in the kitchen.

The memory makes me a little weepy, just as she ends with, “And the secret to a long marriage is something I never found out, so I'll be taking notes with the rest of you!”

The room howls, and Mom takes her little bow. She leans in and squeezes Dahlia's face. “You picked a good one, baby.”

And I drink.

I’m about to excuse myself to the bathroom when my phone buzzes. It’s a notification from the cruise app. A message from my own room?

BACHELOR PARTY STATUS REPORT, 1915 HRS. Cigars distributed. Theo has been forced into wearing a captain's hat. Morale: adequate.

I laugh and spin on my stool so nobody can see my screen.

Me

Report acknowledged. Casualty count?

It looks like I’m sending messages to myself, which only adds to the experience.

Finn

Rhys lost $40 to Garrett at poker within 11 minutes. Garrett shows no remorse. We believe this isn’t the first time he’s targeted the weak

A photo comes through. Theo in the captain's hat, looking very debaucherous, Finn's arm around his neck. A deep ache rolls through my body like the stomach flu. Why didn’t I just kiss him? Staring at his unbuttoned, sleeves-rolled, dimpled photo, I regret all previous life decisions.

Finn

Update: your cousin Garrett is a menace, and I'm out $60. The pediatric residency is a cover

I grin and lift my phone to take a selfie of the group. They all notice and lean in. Why are they all sticking out their tongues? I send it anyway, along with a close-up of one of the anatomically scandalous party straws that Priya provided.

Me

Keeping it classy over here

Finn

Those are structurally unsound. The cantilever alone

I snort and read the small imprinted letters on the bottom side of the . . . well. It could only be called the shaft.

Me

Seems like you should get in touch with Maid of Dishonor Unlimited to pass along your suggestions

Finn

Obviously

Me

They’ll probably need example photos

Finn

I’m well stocked

I'm grinning at my phone like an idiot when Dahlia leans over and snatches it from me. “Dahlia⁠—“