Page 19 of Ruthless Blade

My attention was brought back to the present as my cheeks heated and I slid in my seat. She laughed, and looked at the menu. “See, fried pickles. Told you!”

I shook my head. “Why are you taking me out so much? We normally do ramen or cook and watch television. You know, like good, lazy people do on a weeknight?”

“And I, your social friend, decided I wasn’t going to let you rot away this year. Jake wouldn’t want you hiding in a dorm, throwing yourself into books because the pain is too much. He’d want you outside socializing with others. Trust me on this. I love you. I want to see your smile again, Lex.”

It was much easier said than done. I sat back, my fingers tracing over the scars on my wrist. She didn’t know everything, and while I loved her too, I couldn’t share the darkest parts of my life with her. The pain that made it almost unbearable to get up in the morning. The fact that I couldn’t share my pain with the one person I should’ve been able to connect to, broke a piece of my heart I didn’t think I could ever get back.

I reached for the menu trying to figure out what I wanted when Josh arrived with a fresh basket of fried pickles and our drinks. The little girl in me was giddy like a kid in a candy store. Mom used to make these so much for us, but as we got older, things changed.

She changed.

Josh smiled at me, and I smiled back. “Are you ready to order?” I made a face and he laughed. “I’ll give you a few more minutes.”

“Thank you.” I said, grabbing a fried pickle, sticking it in the ranch, and shoving it into my mouth. Oh.My.God.

A moan escaped my lips and Hazel laughed. “Alright, I need a wet floor sign over here!”

I kicked her under the table, covering my mouth because it was hot. “Shut up.”

“No, please Hazel, repeat what you said.”

My breath caught in my throat, and my spine straightened. Kayden.

“Well, isn’t this interesting? Somehow we keep running in the same circles when we don't even run in the same circles.”

I glanced up, and one of Kayden’s friends was in a stare down with Hazel, which meant his gaze was completely locked on mine.

I wanted to scream. Being near him was not on my to-do list. I sighed, “What do you want?”

He slid into the booth beside me, his jeans squeaking against the vinyl, his shoulder pressed against mine. He grabbed a fried pickle and popped it into his mouth. He had some fucking nerve...those were MY fried pickles. I didn’t like sharing.

I moved the pickle basket away from him, a wicked smile playing on his lips. “Still possessive of those things, huh?”

I rolled my eyes and scooted further in the booth, trying to move away from him.

“It’s time to cash in on my favor.” His voice dipped low, as if he didn’t want the other two to hear. They were locked in some kind of weird standoff, completely ignoring everything around them. Dylan and Hazel had a one night stand a few months back, and ever since, they’ve been at each other’s throats. I personally thought it was because they liked it more than they wanted to let on.

I have no room to talk. I obviously know nothing about the male sex because for the life of me, I could never get anyone to date me. Ever. Not that it was on my radar either. It would be nice to be acknowledged once in a while, though.

My eyes widened. “Excuse you?”

“You heard me.” His hand moved to my thigh and squeezed. Immediately, tingles shot up and into my belly.

What the fuck?

He was losing his mind. Hell, my body was losing its mind. I didn’t like Kayden. He was a bad fucking decision I wanted no part of. Apart from the kiss we shared at seventeen, I wanted nothing to do with him...

Spades faded away, replaced by the damp chill of my parents’ backyard shed. My back was pressed against the wall, eyes looking up at the glow of the moon. I was all alone, my parents inside with Kayden’s. The family dinner was a regular thing in our house on Saturday nights. Kayden and Jake were off in the house playing video games, and I needed some air so I came outside.

The heavy talk of college lingered in the air, and what I would do at school. My parents had been on my case about it for a while, since skating was no longer something on the table. My breath caught when a stick cracked, and as my eyes caught the gaze of him my body stilled.

Kayden did things to me I never cared to admit. He was the only one I’d ever wanted, but after being made a fool of time and time again, I realized it was all on me. He wanted to see me in pain, and I was too oblivious to recognize it.

“Why are you out here? Aren’t you supposed to be inside, keeping my brother company?”

I’d turned seventeen, that was one reason for the family dinner. We were celebrating, but it didn’t feel like that. It was more of a chance to grill me until I gave in, until I crumbled under the pressure of everyone I loved.

Kayden and Jake were a year older, already starting their first year of college. They’d left me alone in high school, and it was nice not being in the same building as them. Being able to breathe as I walked through the halls, knowing he wasn’t lurking in a corner, waiting to watch me fall.