Page 55 of Ruthless Blade

"You want to talk about it, or you want me to guess based on vibes alone?" He glanced over, and whatever he saw on my face made his grin fall. "Okay. Vibes it is. Bad vibes. Got it."

I didn't answer. I kept my head down, working through the motions of getting dressed on autopilot. My mind was a clusterfuck, and I didn’t particularly want to be here.

Come on, Kayden. Get your head in the game. You need to get your shit together. You can’t lose hockey too.

I could feel Dylan’s eyes on me, but I didn’t look up. I knew they were worried; their Captain, the guy who was supposed to have the answers to everything, really didn’t. They looked up to me, but I was lost. Jake’s death had completely wrecked me, and then the thing with Lexi and our parents, didn’t make things better. I needed to get out of this fucking state. I needed a fresh start.

Practice went about as badly as I expected. Coach ran us through line rushes first, nothing complicated, muscle memory stuff we'd done a thousand times. Yet, I still managed to blow the timing on a give-and-go so badly that Torin nearly ate my stick to the face.

"Daniel!" Coach's whistle cut through the rink. "Head in the game or off the ice! Your choice."

"Sorry, Coach."

"Fix it!"

I tried.

It didn't take.

Ten minutes later, I missed an assignment on a defensive drill and Kellan had to cover for me, shooting me a look over his shoulder that was more like what the fuck are you doing?

I shook my head, needing a swift kick in the nuts to wake up. By the time we hit scrimmage, Coach pulled me aside during a line change and told me to take a seat on the bench for the rest of the session.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

Coach never benched me. I’m losing my shit. Already. Over a fucking girl. Goddammit.

Of course, Garcia and his annoying ass had to take the opportunity to rub it in my fucking face. My jaw clenched anytime he skated near the bench, spewing off words of...

Wow, already benched?

Damn, what’s got your panties in a twist?

Does the star player need a pacifier?

Ignore him, fucking ignore him.

Mid scrimmage, Dylan sat next to me, not saying a word. He rested his forearms on his knees, and I knew the lecture was coming, even if I didn’t want to hear it. "You gonna tell me what's going on," he said, "or am I supposed to keep pretending you’re not about to have a breakdown?"

"I'm fine." Why couldn’t they let it go? Let the shit go.

"Bullshit. That's why Coach benched the captain during a Tuesday scrimmage. Because everything's fine."

I didn't answer. Leave me alone Dylan.

"Whatever it is," he said, "you need to fucking let it go and get your head in the game. Otherwise, you can kiss the rest of this season, the NHL combine and draft goodbye. You're our Cap. Get it together, man. You’ve worked too fucking hard to let it all go."

He skated off, and I sat there, watching my team practice without me. As Garcia snapped at Dylan for missing a shot, I shook my head. He’s such a fucking dick. I placed my head in my hands and tried to push away every fucked up thing in my life, so I could focus on the only thing that mattered.

Hockey.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

LEXI

Hazel had already left for her classes the next morning, and I took my time getting up and showering. The night before, she was the best friend who made sure I didn’t feel a thing, loading me up on wine and junk food.

I had poured a bowl of Frosted Flakes when there was a knock on the door. My eyebrows scrunched together. Who in the world? We rarely had visitors, and normally if we did, it was for Hazel, and she was usually home.