Page 38 of Oddly Fine

“You told me to bring a gun!” Beckett hissed back with annoyance and frustration.

“You wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t!” Gill replied, and—yeah, okay, that was an entirely accurate supposition on his part.

Odds were that Beckett would have smelled a rat with this so-called emergency, demanded more information up front and gotten wind of the babysitting part, and then pulled a mouth static stunt before hanging up. Then he would have grabbed their passports and their go bags, and they would have headed for the border.

“Please,” Gill said, his usual commanding tone absent for once. “I know it’s not—ideal,” he added in a rush, looking between them with a disarming vulnerability. “I’ve fucked up a lot over the years, and he’s—” Gill swallowed and looked down at the watch on his wrist. “He’s been incredibly patient with me and more than kind. God help me, I can’t let him down tonight,” he said with a firm nod of conviction. “I won’t.”

Beckett opened his mouth to argue but couldn’t summon the words. They did owe Gill a whole fucking lot. He supposed babysitting the triplets would go a long way towards paying penance for at least one or two of his shenanigans. He sighed.

“As long as we’re clear that Hayes is the only responsible adult here,” Beckett stated with a wink.

Gill gripped his shoulders and shook him briefly. “Thank you!” He pulled Beckett towards the living room with Hayes trailing behind them. Although Hayes didn’t say a word, Beckett heard his muffled laughter.

The triplets were indeed dressed in their pajamas and ready for bed as they snuggled together on the couch, the introduction to Shrek 2 playing on the TV. Lilac, Gill’s daughter, spotted them first. Then Teacup the poodle did, and he jumped off the couch and waggled his way over, seemingly pleased to see them.

“It’s Mr. Potty-Mouth!” Lilac announced with a giggle, hiding part of her face behind her fluffy blanket as she elbowed one of her brothers.

“Oh, look, it’s little Miss Blabbermouth!” Beckett echoed, imitating her and elbowing Hayes. She stuck out her tongue at him—so he did the exactly the same to her. Hayes shook his head and bent down to give Teacup a quick pat to stop his whining for attention.

“Guys, you remember my friends, Hayes and Beckett, don’t you? They’ll be watching you while Papa and I are out, alright? We’ll be back bright and early tomorrow morning!” he said, obviously in a rush to get out the door, but making sure the children were comfortable with the situation before he left.

“Where’s Mamie Donna?” one of the two boys asked. It was hard for Beckett to tell who was who because the boys were totally identical.

“She couldn’t make it—but it’s fine because Hayes is realllllly good at making pancakes, and he promised he’d whip some up for you tomorrow morning, alright?” Gill didn’t even spare a glance in Hayes’ direction.

“What about the sprinkles?” the other boy asked, dark eyes narrowed in suspicion as he looked back and forth between Beckett and Hayes.

“What did I say about watching TV without your glasses, Nathan?” Gill replied, ignoring the question in favor of scolding his son. He grabbed a pair of glasses with blue frames from the coffee table and handed them over. Nathan accepted them with a scowl.

“I already told them about the sprinkles,” Gill lied smoothly. He bent down and kissed all three of them on their foreheads, and despite their whining and pretending to dislike it, they all ended up saying, “I love you, too.”

“Alright—” Gill said, turning back to Beckett and Hayes. “In bed by 9:00, no excuses—use bribery if you must,” he said, pointing a finger at them threateningly before answering an incoming call.

“Yes, honey. Just—briefing the babysi—” he paused, cocking his head and sighing. “Yes, I’m wearing a real suit this time,” he mumbled self-consciously into the phone.

Beckett didn’t blame him. He’d be just as mortified if he had to dress up in what amounted to a penguin suit.

“If you’d just let me hang up, I’d already be out the fucking door!” Gill snapped, sounding a heck of a lot more like the man Beckett and Hayes was used to.

“That’s a dollar in the swear jar!” Lilac yelled from the couch, although her eyes were riveted on the TV. Teacup was back in her lap, just as enthralled by Shrek as the children.

Without another word, Gill ended the call, fished a dollar out of his wallet, and dropped it in the giant cookie jar on the kitchen counter. He turned to Beckett and Hayes then and heaved a sigh.

“Go, we’ll be fine,” Hayes said reassuringly.

Beckett held back the quick quip setting on his tongue. Clearly it wasn’t the time—and shit, if that wasn’t goddamned personal growth—

“I left the gun safe unlocked downstairs. Maybe put your weapons in there? They get into everything—” he said, as he began walking backwards.

“You got it,” Hayes assured him, nodding towards the door encouragingly. Finally, Gill turned and grabbed his coat before heading out the front door, shutting it behind him with more force than was perhaps necessary.

Then—they were alone with three kids.

Beckett could feel yet another rivulet of sweat run down his spine.

“I don’t want to sound dramatic—but I will literally pay you to kidnap me,” Beckett stage whispered to Hayes, and he must have caught Hayes off guard because his boyfriend gave a buoyant laugh of surprise.

A few seconds later Hayes collected Beckett’s weapon and headed for the stairs. Best to put away the weapons as soon as possible. As he waited for his boyfriend to come back, Beckett stood perfectly still, afraid he might break the spell currently cast and keeping the triplets perfectly focused on the TV. As he heard Hayes return to the living room and come up behind him, he looked back, hoping his panic was plain to see.