Page 45 of Oddly Fine

“You don’t look like babysitters,” she said, eyeing them both suspiciously as she lifted her cup of tea to take a sip. It was difficult to tell whose mother she might be since both Gill and Riley were big men. Beckett thought she had that spark of intelligence he’d seen in Riley’s eyes, but he couldn’t be sure. She’d obviously come prepared to babysit. Wearing a bright green track suit embellished with crystals on the cuffs. She reminded him of those women in the 1970’s commercials about everything you needed for domestic bliss. The perfect housewives, always dressed to the nines, ready for their husbands to come home to perfectly decorated houses and perfectly prepared meals. Except Donna was a grandmother.

“And you look too young to be a grandma,” Beckett replied with a sunny smile, turning on the Thérault charm.

She scoffed and waved him off.

“I ain’t falling for your nonsense,” she warned him, most likely still pissed at having been held at knifepoint.

“We work for Gill,” Hayes said, hoping to clarify their status so she would feel more at ease with who they were.

She sniffed, and narrowed her eyes.

“You don’t look like plumbers either.”

Somehow they managed to control their expressions.

“Right, well—I can show you my ass crack if that’ll sell it,” Beckett proposed. The quip popped out before he could think it through.

Donna gave a boisterous laugh. The kind that came from wayyyyy down deep and shook her entire body.

“We truly are sorry about the confusion. We weren’t told you were coming, so when we heard the basement door open we thought—” Hayes broke off, not sure how to finish that statement.

“That I was breaking and entering,” she finished for him, having already put two-and-two together. “Figures my son-in-law didn’t tell you—that man—” she waved a hand in the air dismissively. “He couldn’t organize a two-car parade even if he was driving one,” she said with a frown, not bothering to hide her disgust. “I told Riley that Gill would forget to plan for tonight. Not that difficult to do, but the man’s clueless. He’s always letting Riley plan for everything like he’s—” she stopped abruptly.

“The woman?” Beckett offered, sounding amused.

“Well—I’m told I can’t say that,” she added, rolling her eyes like she’d been scolded for saying that many times. “But yes. Just about. Anyhoo—I’d had enough, so when Gill called me this morning, I said no. I can’t. I’m busy—made up a lie about a bridge convention out of town. Just to teach him a lesson, you know? Anyway, I planned on getting here earlier, but then my car broke down and I had to call my emergency road service folks. Got back on the road as soon as I could and finally made it into town. Figured Suzie, their usual overnight babysitter, would be here. She usually sleeps in the spare bedroom, and I text her when I’m coming over, so she’s not startled when I show up. Didn’t think I’d get—mauled for using my key!” she scoffed, and then took another big sip of tea. She hummed in appreciation, clearly pleased with Hayes’ skills in steeping tea properly.

“Why didn’t you use the front door?” Hayes asked, out of curiosity.

“That goddamned alarm beeps, and sometimes it wakes the kids—guess they’re so used to their father coming home at ungodly hours that they usually wake up when they hear it,” she said, clearly dissing Gill again. “The things that man puts his children through sometimes!” She gave a disapproving shake of her head.

It was more than a little—uncomfortable, to sit there and listen to a stranger bash a man Beckett had a lot of respect for. But then again—what else could he do? He’d already threatened to kill her once. It was probably best to bite his tongue and let her criticisms roll right off his back.

“Well—I’ll admit it’s a relief to have you here. We managed to get them to bed on time, but I’m sure they’ll be much happier seeing you in the morning instead of us,” Hayes said, with a relieved laugh.

“Oh, no!” Donna exclaimed, shaking her head. Her hairstyle was quite formidable. It hardly moved at all despite the vigorous movement. “I want you both here when my son comes home tomorrow morning. No doubt he has no idea who’s babysitting his children right now. No offense, but—”

“None taken,” Hayes responded automatically with a polite smile.

But Beckett wasn’t so sure he agreed with Hayes on letting her off the hook. They’d done a fine job so far. Everyone was alive and well.

“Still, I don’t think it’s necessary that we stay—” Hayes tried again to get them excused from this babysitting gig.

She shot him a look that would have killed a lesser man.

“You were put in charge of these children. Are you saying you’ll walk out on them?” She stuck out her chin, giving Hayes a challenging look. With a heavy sigh, Hayes shook his head.

“No, ma’am,” Hayes replied dutifully.

“Good!” She finished her tea, looking satisfied with his polite response. “Well, gentlemen, I suggest we all get some rest before the hellions awake—morning isn’t far off, you know!” She stood up and pushed her chair under the table, standing almost eye level with them since she was so tall.

“You really don’t look like plumbers,” she mused for the second time.

“The back view is even better,” Beckett assured her with a wink.

She suppressed her smile and asked, “Shall I assume you’ll take the couch? I’m all set up in the guest room downstairs.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Hayes confirmed for both of them.