Page 48 of Oddly Fine

“Alright, enough!” Beckett commanded; his cold stare unrelenting. “It was a raccoon. It had babies, so it was very protective—but everyone is alright. Now, listen up! We’re gonna go make pancakes, and by the time we’re done eating, the officers will be done and gone.” His drill sergeant manner worked like a charm to calm everyone down and get them organized.

“They hurt you!” Lilac pointed towards the impressive gash on Beckett’s forearm.

Hayes’ eyes narrowed in concern and he grabbed Beckett’s hand to lift up his arm to get a look at the wound. Beckett yanked his hand away and shook his head. It was too late though, since Hayes had already seen how bad the cut was.

“Only because I screamed like a little—” Beckett said, then stopped to clean up his language. “Like a little dog stepping on Legos!”

Grandma Donna cast a look of disapproval in Beckett’s direction but led the troops to the kitchen.

Predictably, Hayes argued that Beckett should go to an emergency medical clinic to get treatment, but he’d refused, claiming that their immediate priority was caring for the children.

“Monroe—Thérault—What the hell?” a stern, and frighteningly familiar male voice bellowed from the entryway.

Their ears perked up like they were hunting dogs, turning to find their boss—unsurprisingly—literally vibrating with anger as he stalked towards them.

They were saved from having to answer him by Donna.

“Well, well!” She got up from her chair at the breakfast table to face Gill and Riley, still wearing her pajamas and satin bonnet.

Hayes had been forced to rouse Donna since the police and animal control officers had been adamant about searching the entire house for other nests. In all the excitement, neither Beckett nor Hayes had called Gill to bring him up to speed on their misadventures. They were about to pay dearly for that little oversight.

“Donna?” Gill’s voice rose several octaves, surprised to see his mother-in-law standing there.

“Daddies!” the kids chorused loudly, as they jumped off the couch and launched themselves at their fathers. They’d settled in to watch the rest of Shrek 2 after finishing a delicious breakfast of homemade pancakes smothered with whipped cream and sprinkles.

“Save your surprise for when I tell you about the raccoons,” Donna advised with a tight smile.

“Raccoons?” Riley asked, looking baffled, as he absently patted the top of Jameson’s head as if he’d been a “good dog,” but Jameson didn’t seem to mind.

“Raccoons?” Gill echoed, his eyes widening in horrified disbelief.

Beckett wasn’t sure how to discreetly signal “it wasn’t me” to his boss. So he went for the same gesture he’d used as teenager when he’d been accused of farting, which was to jam his fist against his forehead, and point his thumb at—anyone else in the vicinity.

Gill’s eyes narrowed in disapproval. He dropped a heavy hand onto Riley’s shoulder and squeezed.

“How about you chat with the children and your mom. I’ll talk with Monroe and Thérault,” he said firmly, leaving no room for argument.

Riley smiled and calmed under Gill’s reassuring touch.

“Alright,” Riley said, and walked over to hug his mother, all three children—and Teacup—trailing behind.

Gill led the way to the formal dining room where they could speak privately. Beckett and Hayes sat down on high-backed white chairs. Their boss stood at the head of the table, gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turned white.

“I need a really fucking good explanation,” Gill said in a deceptively calm voice.

“About the raccoons or—” Beckett replied, trying for a bit of levity.

“How about you start with the fucking bandage on my mother-in-law’s neck?” Gill demanded through clenched teeth.

“Oh—righttt,” Beckett said, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously before glancing at Hayes, eyes begging for backup.

As Hayes watched his boyfriend squirm under Gill’s expectant gaze, he reminded himself that Gill was a ghost—at least, as far as the Internet and most of the world was concerned. Everything he knew about Gill he’d learned through personal experience, not research. What little he did know about his boss made him like and respect him in equal measure. Gill was a retired Special Forces officer who’d decided to become a cog in the wheel of the federal agency machine. He was undoubtedly goal oriented, and had very few fucks to give. Yet, he was also a considerate, caring father at home. When it came to his job, he’d always been willing to go to bat for his employees. Hayes had seen these admirable traits in action on innumerable occasions. As a result, it was virtually impossible for Hayes to lie to him, but, perhaps more importantly, to ever want to disappoint him.

Hayes took a deep breath and then rode to the rescue.

“At approximately 1:00 a.m., we heard rustling noises coming from the basement. Beckett and I made the executive decision to split up. I covered the children while Beckett went downstairs to deal with the intruder.” Hayes presented the facts as if he was attending a routine debriefing.

“The intruder?” Gill asked, clearly alarmed.