Page 70 of An Espresso Machine’s Guide to Love & Mischief

I don’t like small towns, but just thinking about one makes me miss Neph. I could really use my bestie after the night I’ve had.

Look, I know you didn’t get a good first impression of everyone at the yacht club, but Janet and the others aren’t bad people. They wouldn’t hurt someone who’s innocent. They’re just trying to do the right thing.

Like your sister? I suggest.

McKay goes quiet, leaving me to my thoughts. Which isn’t necessarily a good thing, since they drift to Asgard, the rat, and the skunk.

Every man I’ve been drawn to today is dead, except for Fletcher. Trevor’s probably fine, too—just unconscious, not that I care. The guy’s an asshole.

Diva… McKay says softly, how did you manage to hop out of the espresso machine? You’re the first person who’s managed to escape an object. I was starting to doubt it was even possible.

I don’t know if she’s trying to distract me or if she doesn’t care that I’m upset. I have no idea. I never body hopped before.

You mean… never? Not even before you died?

I was just a normal human, I tell her.

I hear her thinking, but it’s too quiet to make out the words, like a voice coming from a phone held to someone else’s ear. Then she speaks directly to me. Well, now that you’re free… do you think you could hop into someone else? I’d like to get my body back so I can try to help the others who are trapped in objects. Assuming they even believe me.

I really think you should reconsider the whole working with kidnappers thing, I tell her, then pause.

I promised to give McKay her body back—and she’s put up with all my falling and horniness already. But hopping bodies will probably mean more falling as I adjust, not to mention convincing a new person to let me stay in control. Plus, I’ll be subjecting someone else to the same misery I’ve subjected McKay to.

I know how awful it is to be trapped and helpless and unable to move. I don’t want to do it to anyone else—but if I don’t, I’ll break my promise to McKay, and she doesn’t deserve that either.

I stare down at my hands. I wish I just had my own body, so I wouldn’t be stuck in this mess of a situation. I let out a heavy sigh. Okay.

Okay what? McKay asks hopefully.

You can have your body back… if we can find someone who’s willing to let me hop into them.

Now you’re concerned about consent? she asks.

I told you, borrowing your body was self-defense. But do you think I could borrow a hundred bucks?

You think I have that much money on me? McKay says.

I shrug. Doesn’t everyone carry a bunch of hundreds for emergencies?

I’ve got ten bucks and a few toonies. You can borrow those if you leave now.

Thanks, I say, when what I really want to say is, that’s it?! I’d rather not sound rude about her being currency-challenged when I already took her body.

I walk over to a young homeless woman who’s got a sign asking for money, and a German shepherd lying on the ground next to her.

“Hey, I’m Diva,” I tell her.

“Kennie with an ‘I-E.’ And this is Rosco.”

“Kennie, if I give you ten bucks, would you be able to come on a walk with me?”

She stares at me for several seconds. “Why would you want that?”

“I need to body hop into someone temporarily to get to my friend Neph.”

“Body hop? Is that some weird kinky shit?”

“Kind of but not really?”