Page 10 of Granny’s Christmas Shifters

“I’m not in hell, am I?” I ask. “Because if you’re just here to tempt me, and you’re not here to fill all my holes, I’m going to be terribly disappointed.”

Compass Cock’s eyes widen. “You want us to fill all your holes?”

I nod. “You’ve got really nice members.”

Bouncing Cock growls. “Don’t ever say members. Or heaving bosom. Or sheath. And don’t call your pussy a flower, or we’ve got a problem.”

“Oooh, we’re talking dirty.” I perk up. “I like it.”

“You call this talking dirty?” He stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. Come to think of it, so does Compass Cock.

“I guess it’s true what they say. You can’t have beauty and brains. But I don’t mind. Your equipment is top notch, and you look like you know how to use it.”

Neither man makes a move, but heaven or hell, I vow to make the best of it. You don’t get to be my age without learning to roll with the punches.

I take a step toward them, but despite their raging hard-ons, they look more shell-shocked than turned-on.

“You might want to look in a mirror,” Clothed-and-Handsome tells me.

I shrug. “I know I’m naked and I’m old enough to be your grandmother, but I still look good. And if this is heaven, I’m not letting anything stop me. The naked bit is good. Means we don’t need to waste time undressing. Well, except you. You could use fewer clothes.” I know I’m talking a lot, but it’s either that or admit that the likelihood of this being heaven is dropping by the minute, and I don’t think I’m ready for that.

“Look.” Bouncing Cock grabs me by the waist, picks me up like I weigh nothing, and carries me across the room. But instead of taking me to the bedroom with the four-poster bed I can see peeking out through the doorway, he deposits me in front of a mirror.

“Kinky, but I’m into it,” I tell him. “Grab my hips and fuck me like you mean it.”

I look into the mirror hopefully, and my jaw drops as I take myself in. I look like I did when my last author photo was taken nearly thirty years ago.

“Look at me in my prime,” I tell the men. “I was quite striking in my forties.” But there’s a lot less gray hair than I thought I saw a few seconds ago. It seems to disappear in front of my eyes.

I finally realize what’s happening. I’m reverse aging. “This really is hell, isn’t it?”

Compass Cock frowns. “This is your idea of hell?”

“It is if I keep getting younger until I’m a baby and I have to watch you hotties change my poopy diaper.”

“Fuck me,” Bouncing Cock says.

“Yeah, I’d much rather fuck you than poop,” I tell him. “And I do not want to be a baby.”

“You’re not going to be,” Clothed-and-Handsome tells me.

“Yes, I am. Because if this was heaven, we’d be naked and on our way from orgasm-town to orgasm-ville. And since no one has come yet, I’m guessing this is hell.”

Bouncing Cock turns to Clothed-and-Handsome. “You turned her, Wolf. You explain.”

“Fuck you, Bear,” he fires back.

“I’d like to fuck Bear,” I say offhandedly. “And I like your nicknames.” I turn to Compass Cock. “What’s yours?”

He gives me a small smile. “Dragon.”

I nod. “It suits you. All your nicknames do.”

The men seem pleased.

Wolf turns to me. “You’re not going to become a baby.”

“How can you be so sure?”