Page 23 of Granny’s Christmas Shifters

“We can pick up some clothes,” Dragon says thoughtfully as he jots it down in shorthand. “We’ll probably need a bigger bed so we can all fit, too. That way I don’t have to draw up a nightly sleep schedule.” He writes it down and taps my knee with his pink eraser. “Oh, and a vibrator.”

I picture him using it on me. “I wouldn’t be opposed.”

“Is there anything else you need? Name it and it’s yours.”

“How does this work, exactly? Do you write things in your diary and when you’re done, they just magically materialize in the living room?”

Dragon chuckles. “No, we go into town and buy them, like everyone else.”

My eyes widen. “You have money?”

“Yes.” Dragon taps his pencil on his bare knee idly. “More than enough to buy everything you need.” He starts to write again. “Including a typewriter.”

I sigh. “I have to say, I’m disappointed.”

Dragon looks up in surprise.

Bear growls. “She wants a computer. She needs to delete.”

Dragon flips his pencil over, erases, and writes it down.

“It’s not that.” I purse my lips. “I suppose I always thought heaven would be all fluffy clouds and angels. It’s a bit of a letdown that we still need money. But…” I cheerily add, “Sex in heaven…” I fan myself. “Mind-blowing. And the men…” I shoot them a wink.

Bear places a flat palm on my abdomen. “You’re not in heaven, Gertrude.”

I giggle. “Oh, I am. They don’t have orgasms like this in hell.”

“I meant you’re not dead,” he amends.

“Of course I am.”

“No, you’re not,” Dragon chimes in.

“You’re a wolf shifter,” Wolf adds. “We talked about this.”

I nod. “A wolf shifter in heaven.”

Wolf shakes his head. “This isn’t heaven. Or any sort of afterlife. This is life, life.”

I shake my head. “That’s impossible.”

Chapter 9

Gertie

“I must be dead,” I tell the men, “because nothing aches.”

Wolf frowns, and his hand on my thigh stills. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Pain is how you know you’re alive.”

“No.” Dragon taps his pencil’s pink eraser against my ankle. “Breathing and a heartbeat is how you know you’re alive.”

“What about vampires?” Bear asks. He continues to play with my nipple idly, almost as if he isn’t aware he’s even doing it.

Dragon frowns. “Technically, vampires are undead.”

“But are they?” Bear asks.