Page 14 of Modern Persuasion

I reached for him, ready to pull him back to me, "Yes, like this. This is the way I want it."

"You are drunk," he said and moved away from me before I could get him in my grasp.

"So?"

"I don't want our first time together to be while we're drunk," he said as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"It's going to be a mess anyway. The first time together is never graceful," I said, positioning myself behind him and kissing his neck.

He let me do this for a moment before forcing himself to his feet. "If you regret it, then it becomes rape. You're not in the right frame of mind to make the right decision. If you still want this when we're sober, then there is no way I will say no. Right now, like this, I can't do it. I am not that kind of guy."

My face got hot, and I pouted. "For fuck's sake, you keep giving me reasons to like you. Why can't you just be that guy right now when I have no inhibitions!"

He sat down in the chair at my desk, leaning his elbows on his knees and putting his face in his hands. "Because I have been fantasizing about you since we met. I don't want a one-night stand when I have to live here for the rest of the year. I want you so much."

I felt my anger dissipate. "Sex fantasies?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Well, among others," he said, giving me a sheepish grin.

"Others?" I asked, and a smile spread across my face.

He moved back to the bed and sat next to me, taking my hand in his. "I want everything. I have fantasies about what our first fight would be about. I have fantasies about cuddling in bed, reading books, and playing footsies."

I knew kissing him had been the right decision. We wanted the same thing, and it was surprisingly arousing to learn about his cute relationship fantasies. "Really?" I asked as I ran my free hand through his hair. "You do know this all just turns me on even more."

He removed my hand and put it in my lap. "Please, Emma," he said, practically whispering. "I want you. I want to kiss you and touch you and love you. You will wake up in the morning, probably hungover, and I will still want you. You don't need to be drunk to feel confident enough to make a move. If you wake up and still want me, then you will know where I am and that I will still want you too."

With that, he got up, left, and went to his own room.

I heard him walking to the bathroom once I was in bed. I waited until I heard the bathroom door open.

"Freddy," I called into the hallway.

"What's up?" he said, walking to my doorway.

"Sleep in here, with me."

"Emma."

"I promise nothing until morning. I just..." I said and swallowed so I could speak clearly. "I want to know what it's like to sleep next to you and to wake up in your arms. That's been my fantasy."

He didn't say anything as he got into the bed with me. I did just as I promised. I could feel the warmth of his breath on the back of my neck and his hand draped over my waist. I fell asleep with him spooning me.

The next morning I woke up buried in his body after rolling over in the night. His arms were around me, our legs entwined, and my face in his neck. I could hear him gently snoring. I lay there in his arms, exploring what I could of his body. He smelled like musk and oranges. I counted freckles on his shoulder and looked at scars to determine what they could have been from. I even looked for moles before he began to stir.

"Good morning," I whispered when he opened his eyes.

A sleepy smile spread across his face. "Good morning."

"Nothing has changed. I want what I want."

He let me pull off his clothes this time, and we made love for the first time.

It was a mess, but it was also everything I had wanted it to be.

Chapter Ten

Patrick dealt with the early morning shows without me. He assured me that he and Fredrick did these all the time to promote movies. We agreed to meet at the Columbus Circle Barnes & Noble for the first book signing later that afternoon to set up together. Not getting up before the sun didn't stop me from watching the morning shows to watch what happened. The interviews went off without a hitch for most of the shows. Since we were at the start of the book tour, we focused on the popular national morning shows. The anchors asked about the book and not Fredrick's personal life. Christi's email showed that she made a point of asking them to do this. Only one host asked about the incident of PubCon and what it was like there. Fredrick brushed it off, explaining he hadn't been there, and I mentally thanked him for trying to minimize it. The only hiccup occurred on one of the later morning shows. Their newest anchor apparently didn't care about Christi's instructions.