Page 24 of Modern Persuasion

Patrick shook his head. "No, sweetie, I'm not going to Chicago. I was never going back to New York anyway, and you and Fredrick will be fine. Louisa can take on the morning shows so you can focus on the bookstores and parties. Everything is smooth sailing from here on out."

My smile fell. "There are no parties in Chicago."

"Perfect!" Patrick said, taking my hand to give me a high-five.

"Why aren't you coming? You're the only thing keeping me sane," I asked, pulling my hand out of his.

"I have a couple reasons. First, I need to get back to other clients. Second, I miss my bed so much, and I don't like hotel rooms. Third, I think you and Fredrick need to have some insanity. My presence has allowed the two of you to just avoid each other. Louisa can do what I've been doing. There are too many of us trying to do the job that only one needs to do. We know you can't leave, so I'm stepping out."

I could feel the panic filling my mind. "Fredrick doesn't want me around, I don't want to be around, and you've kept us from killing each other."

Patrick put his arm around my shoulder. "Emma, I don't know if you noticed, but you two are having a passive-aggressive-off."

"What does that mean?"

"You're brooding, moping, and constantly emotionally overwhelmed. This is not healthy for anyone. He's doing that too, but with pot and beer. You should just fuck and get it over with."

My eyes got wide. "What!?"

Patrick waved his hand. "Forget I said that. Have a fight, for fuck's sake. Talk to each other. You've barely said two words to each other all month. Louisa and I play go-between. You just have to get through a few more days in Chicago, and then you can forget this entire month ever took place. Louisa said you're going to Cape Cod with your father and sister. That should be lovely. Oh, but Seth has decided to go to Chicago and New York with you. All the tickets and stuff were already paid for. Louisa and Seth are clearly head-over-heels in love. I'm not sure if you noticed."

I had noticed. I wondered what Louisa would do when put in the same situation as I had been.

Seth insisted on sitting next to Louisa on the flight to Chicago the next day. His excuse for joining us was that he and Fredrick needed to work on the sitcom scripts.

"Fredrick is letting Seth write with him," Louisa whispered to me as we sat at the gate. "They worked on the script for a movie together once, and Fredrick feels the script and acting will be stronger if Seth does both."

I was impressed with how Seth had found a great excuse so he could spend more time with Louisa. Still, this decision left me sitting next to Fredrick for the entire flight. As we sat there in awkward silence, I realized that Patrick had been right about how little Fredrick and I had spoken to each other this past month.

I tried to pretend I wasn't sitting next to the man I had loved. I sat with my arms close to my body, worried that our arms would brush. I pulled out my tablet and tried to read through a manuscript, but my mind kept replaying everything I had learned during my meeting with Ted. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I became. As confused as I was about what had happened with Fredrick's manuscript, I could see all the ways Karen had been holding me back.

I wasn't angry with her but with myself for allowing this to continue. Over the years, I had gone on autopilot at work. I had stopped pushing for more responsibility. I had let my responsibility for my father and Elizabeth take over my life, and everything else suffered as a result. I needed to regain control at work to do the work I wanted.

"So..." Fredrick said once the plane was in the air, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked across the aisle to Louisa for support, but she and Seth were already deep in their own conversation. I took a sip of champagne and told the worst story of my life.

"So, this morning when Louisa and I checked out, we were standing at the elevator, and we could hear the couple in the closest room having sex. They were both moaning quite loudly," I said.

I regretted the story immediately. There were so many other things I needed to talk to him about, and I had picked that. Fredrick looked at me like I was insane and turned toward the window. As I was about to put my earbuds in, I heard him chuckle to himself. I hoped it was the story that had amused him and not my stupidity.

Chapter Seventeen

I hadn't been in Chicago since graduation. After I left, I had put away my happy memories. I had spent the last eight years trying to forget how happy I had been with Fredrick. I could not ignore the returning memories as we drove through the city to the hotel. I listened to Louisa prattle on about Navy Pier, pizza, shopping, weird sculptures, and all the other things she wanted to see.

"Are you guys going to visit old haunts?" Louisa asked Fredrick and me.

The two of us just stared at her.

"You two are officially the worst. Here we are, in a city you both spent four years in. Who better to suggest good restaurants and things to do? It's like the two of you exist on separate planes of existence where you don't even realize the other is there. Emma, have you met Freddy? Freddy, have you met Emma?"

"Louisa, his name is Fredrick, not Freddy. Has anyone else called him Freddy?" I said.

"I heard you call him Freddy at the library in New York."

I wanted to justify why, but I said nothing because I knew I couldn't say anything without getting overwhelmed with emotions. Even without that conversation, I could feel my eyes fill with tears.

"Jesus, Emma. What is going on with you?" Louisa asked.