Page 22 of I Still Love You (Citation Needed)

“I’m sure he’ll be at the reception tonight,” I added. “You made a good faith effort to hire someone from a formal search. Nobody will care who gets the job because nobody else knows who was in the pool of candidates. If you want to assure him I’m not going to sabotage his chances for the job, then I don’t have to be part of the interview.”

Cooper looked back and forth between Nadia and me. “I have to think about this. Let’s all look at those candidates still in the pool and talk after the reception tonight.”

Chapter Seventeen

This is going to be an exciting year,” a man was telling me later that evening. “I understand this year we have our largest attendance ever.”

I didn’t know who he was since he wasn’t wearing his name tag, but he loomed over me, his breath reeking of alcohol. How drunk was he? I was glad we had only done free wine and beer for the event, but it hadn’t stopped people from going to the other bars in the hotel to get the drinks they wanted. A few moments before, this man had staggered over to me and started talking. He hadn’t introduced himself nor did he indicate that he knew who I was. I wasn’t the only person using a wheelchair this evening. Had he made an educated guess and happened to get it right?

WorldWikiMania wasn’t a large conference, even though this is an international organization. It was the nature of running nearly all our functions in the shoulders of volunteers. I didn’t want to change any of that. This was the very point of EncycloWiki. Those who attended were the most involved or whose professional work aligned with WorldWikiMania. We normally took up all the event space in one hotel with participants staying in hotels around the city. The man was right; we had over a thousand people register this year, making it our largest conference ever. I knew we often had higher turnout in English-speaking countries, but I was excited for such a high turn out my first year as executive director.

“We need to reform EncycloWiki to keep out the riffraff,” the man said before someone put a hand on his shoulder.

I turned to see who was rescuing me and saw Mason with an easy smile on his face. “Okay, Ed,” Mason said. “I think you should get some rest.”

“Mason!” Ed said, losing his balance for a heartbeat as he spun around and tried to focus. “You are exactly the kind of person we need more of! An academic! You need to hire him, Penny. We need to bring the academics in so we can make sure everything is accurate and reliable.”

Hearing his name made me remember who he was. He was a retired academic who decided to get involved. I raised an eyebrow as I caught Mason’s eyes. My ex kept his hand on the man’s shoulder and led him toward the elevator. I couldn’t hear what they said but Ed got on the elevator and Mason walked back to the table and sat down.

“I’ve been looking for a seat all evening,” Mason said, letting out a deep sigh.

“Smart move, sending him away so you could grab this one,” I said, gesturing to the chair he now occupied.

“I’m fascinated at how many of these people are impressed by my being an academic,” he added with a gesture around the room.

It wasn’t lost on me that quite a few people at this reception were impressed that an academic was involved with this event. Even in a space where academic expertise shouldn’t matter, it clearly impressed people.

“Citation needed, Mason,” I said and rolled my eyes. “Other than that drunk guy that I’ve never met before, who’s impressed?”

“Touche,” Mason whispered with a smile and raised an eyebrow.

Yes, Mason wanted to remind me of my own criticisms of academia and it had worked. I still maintained that having a PhD was impressive, but academia was incapable of making a real-world impact anymore. Mason didn’t disagree with me. It was the very reason his own work in EncycloWiki was about making academic research more accessible. At the same time, it was so easy for us to go from observation to flirtation. Telling each other that a citation was needed may have been used in fights, but most of the time it had been a way to flirt, even when we were engaged. I knew at my core how to tell the difference and the raised eyebrow was the first sign.

I was tired after the long day of interviews and not interested in having a flirty argument with him. I wanted to go up to my hotel room and crash before this long weekend got started. In February, I was fresh in my glory as the new executive director. I had wanted to show Mason and Lois how wrong they had been about me. Now I wanted to entice Mason to join me. I had reviewed the resumes as Cooper had requested, but there was nobody who would work for the job. Cooper was still wavering about the next steps for the WikiAcademia director, but Mason was the right fit even if the job hadn’t been written for him. Lois Fairfax was here somewhere trying to prevent me from doing it and I needed to be at my best to win. Right now, I wasn’t at my best, but I had to hold on for a few hours, especially if Mason was here and wanted to talk to me.

“You know I hate academic conferences,” I reminded him. “People are there for their own egos. Either they want the accolades for their research, none of which helps the world in any way, or they are pompous assholes who are there to socialize. This is different. People here have different backgrounds and passions. Some of the most committed have the least formal education but are passionate about what to do. Many share your passion to make information more accessible.”

Mason looked over the crowd of people standing in clusters and talking. Everyone looked different, but they all seemed to be casually enjoying themselves. You could see the hippies who loved the free sharing of information mingling with geeks who loved collecting data. There were people from different countries showcasing the work they were doing to increase access to information at home or translate English language content into their own language.

“I think about ninety-nine percent of these people want to do good work to make a difference in the world. Ed is probably the one percent who’s a pompous asshole,” Mason said as we looked at the group to avoid looking at each other.

“I assume he’s on the planning committee with you,” I said as I fought the urge to giggle. “I know him by name only, but he has time and knowledge. We don’t turn anyone away if they behave.”

Mason turned to me and leaned across the table. “You would think he only said these things because he’s drunk, but he has sent me private chats in planning meetings saying the same thing. He clearly thinks I see academia like he does.”

I met Mason’s eyes. “As I recall, you only wanted to work in academia. Has something changed?”

Mason let out the deepest sigh I had ever heard and slumped back. “Things have changed,” he whispered. “I’ll never do enough for them.”

My anger wanted to lash out and say something snippy about the relevancy of academia. Another part of me wanted to reach out and comfort him.

“I thought it was a safe environment where I could help the world by teaching the next generation. It’s really all a power game,” he continued.

I opened my mouth, ready to tell him to talk to Cooper about the job, but I shut it again when I saw Heather and Lois walking over to us.

“I’m sorry it’s not what you enjoy anymore. I’m sorry it’s all political games and egos,” I whispered before they got close enough to hear.

Mason looked at me. “It’s not your fault. You tried to warn me.”