Page 85 of Elemasters

“Wait… during my trial. That was you too?! I thought it was my like, ‘inner child’ or something?”

Chris chuckled. Utterly humorless. Just exhausted.

“Nah bro, all me. Even you can’t tell the younger versions of us apart,”

Dustin giggled weakly, finally loosening his grip enough to let his brother breathe.

“I’m so glad I found you. Every day since our fight I’ve been… it’s just been like…”

Dustin couldn’t even finish his sentence, the tears overwhelming him instantly. Chris pulled him back into another hug.

“You don’t even gotta say it bro. It was so God damn stupid, I was so God damn stupid. I was just so angry, I’ve always been so FUCKING angry. I completely lost my shit and I… I damn near killed you. If that shot would’ve connected I…”

“Y-yeah, I’d be dead,” Dustin stammered, “and I’m still kinda pissed at you for that, even if I’m happy to see your dumb ass alive,”

Chris laughed, more fully this time.

“Yeah, I just gotta take that one on the chin,” he admitted, “seriously though, I’m sorry Dustin. Not just for that, for like… everything man,”

“I know you are… but damn it’s good to hear you say it,” Dustin said, resting his forehead against Chris’s for a moment before pulling back and looking him in the eyes, “but I’m sorry too, y’know,”

Chris just blinked at him.

“For what though? What you said was right; you always take the fall for me, and my dumb ass decisions ruined everything for you. Your band, your freedom, all of it. Every fucking day it hurt like hell watching your spark go out because of some shit I did…”

“Yeah, you’re right. But that didn’t come out of nowhere, that’s the part I’ve always been missing. I always wondered how you could be like that; self-absorbed, just blasting through life without even caring about anything around you. But seeing all this?” Dustin gestured vaguely around them, “I think I finally get it. Get you, I mean,”

Chris’s shoulders slumped and his gaze dropped to the floor. Dustin gently raised his chin and made him look at him again.

“I’m sorry that I left you behind, Haruto,” Dustin’s lip quivered as Chris’s Japanese name found its way to the forefront of his mind, “I was so worried about keeping myself safe, about staying perfect so I wouldn’t be seen as…”

“Difficult,” Chris cut him off, eyes drifting again, “yeah, I get it. You wanted to be the golden child, and I wanted that for you! It’s not like I wanted mom and dad to hate you, I just… didn’t want them to hate me either,”

“You think they hated you?” Dustin shook his head, “bro, they love you! Why do you think they move heaven and earth to keep you happy?”

Chris scoffed, tears now streaming freely down his cheeks.

“They move heaven and earth because they’re scared that if they don’t, I’ll burn ‘em both down,”

Dustin’s heart seized in his chest. Everything he’d been through in this mindscape made him realize that he’d been a part of that pattern just as much as their parents.

But it was time for that pattern to unravel.

“I love you Chris,” was the only thing he could manage to say, “I love you, so much. I can’t imagine how it’s felt for you to live every day of your life feeling like a burden, and I’m sorry that I played a part in that,”

“And I’m sorry that I made my burden yours,” Chris sniffled, “I wanted to turn myself into someone that couldn’t be ignored, even you became the fuel for that fire. I never wanted to hurt you bro, all I ever wanted was for us to shine in our own ways, but still be locked in together, tight as we used to be! I wanted us to be…”

“Same-same, but different,” Dustin interjected, sending both of them into a weird laugh-cry hybrid as they held onto each other.

As they finally pulled apart, Dustin noticed that Chris’s skin had regained some of its color, and he didn’t seem quite as fragile.

“I’m so fucking proud of you bro. I could see you while I was trapped in my own head, watching that fucker use my body like a meat puppet,” Chris shuddered, barely enough to notice, but Dustin caught it, “you’re fucking scary when you’re mad dude,”

“Only when it comes to you,” Dustin replied, placing a supportive hand on Chris’s shoulder, “there was no way I was just gonna let him take you and not do everything in my power to save you. Cradle to grave, right?”

Chris smiled, wide and beaming.

“Hell yeah, man. Cradle to grave,”