Page 30 of The Riders’ Reign

“She’ll understand, eventually. What’s the alternative? That your entire remaining family is wiped out? They can’t hide forever.”

“Would you do it?” I throw back at them. “Would you betray your sibling to secure your own safety? You wouldn’t, I know you wouldn’t, so how can you ask the same of me?”

Rook hangs his head. “Because we want you to be safe, Cami. That’s all we care about. That’s why we’re asking it.”

I shake my head. “No, no. I can’t…”

The room spins in a dizzying circle around me.

“And what happens at the time of the exchange,” I say, “when Hector realizes we no longer have Ledger, that, in fact, Ledger has been dead all this time? He’s not just going to hand over my mother, is he? Or Ghost, for that matter. All I can see is things going wrong, and, right now, my mother and brother are hopefully both secure. How can I possibly give up their safehouse?”

“Please, think about this, Cami,” Rook says.

Ace looks over to him. “She has a point. We don’t have Ledger, and when Hector discovers that, the deal will be off anyway.”

“What happens if I say no, though? What will happen to Ghost?” I wonder if we ought to string Hector along somehow for a while, until Ghost is safe.

“Then we make the exchange with just Ghost and Ledger.” Rook smiles at me.

“But we don’t have anyone to exchange!” My tone rises in hysteria. “We don’t have Ledger.”

“We’ll think of something,” Rook says. “Hector sending men to your family’s safehouse would have bought us a little more time, that’s all.”

I hate that Rook is correct and I could buy Ghost time, but I won’t betray my brother.

“No. The minute Hector finds out his son is dead, he’ll kill Ghost, and, if he has my mother, he’ll kill her, too.”

Heat rushes over me and sweat prickles above my upper lip. A band tightens around my chest, squeezing the air from my lungs. I put my face in my hands, fighting the nausea threatening to overwhelm me. I feel like I’m about to throw up, have a heart attack, and pass out, all at the same time.

How can they expect me to make this decision? It’s too much.

They’re asking me to kill my brother.

In return for Ghost’s life, and my mother’s.

I’ve caused this, all of it. If I hadn’t come here, they’d all be safe right now. Maybe this is my punishment for all the sins I’ve committed.

I made the decision to kill Ledger.

And now I’ve possibly killed Ghost.

Grief pours over me, taking hold of me. I can’t function. I can’t speak, can’t breathe. I can’t get my limbs to work. I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him, I’ve killed him.

Ace slips his arm around my shoulders, but I shake him off. I don’t deserve his comfort. I don’t deserve any of them. Can’t they see how poisonous I am? I’ve ruined them. Jack is in the hospital, Rook has suffered assault because of me, now Ghost… The only person I haven’t hurt is Ace, but that’s bound to come. Then there’s my mother and brother.

Once more, my thoughts go to leaving. I should join my family.

My heart breaks all over again at the thought of leaving here, but right now I can’t see any way out of this. How can these men stand to look at me? Especially if Ghost dies, which, surely, he will if we can’t come up with something.

“This is my fault,” I sob. “This is all my fault.”

“Come on, Princess, no, it’s not.” Ace lays his hand over mine in a comforting gesture that does nothing to make me feel better.

“How can you say that? Whose fault is it, then?”

Ace squeezes my hand. “Hector Sanchez’s, of course, and Ledger’s, too.”

“I should never have run to Jack when I needed help.”