Page 58 of Fated to the Alpha

And they were definitely not at that level of commitment.

“Did you mean to do that?” Kimberly’s voice wasn’t more than a terrified whisper.

Shane briskly shook his head. “No. I … I didn’t know it was even happening until you said it. Kimberly, I’m so sorry.”

The pain and panic on his face made her want to cry. He looked like he thought he had violated her, that he hadn’t been in control of his own body, and just now awoke to the aftermath.

She reached out and hugged him around his neck, pulling him back down to ease his regret. “It’s okay. It’s fine. It’s…”

Shane’s big arms encased her. “You didn’t want it. I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do anything without your consent. I didn’t want to hurt you like that.”

Nothing in her wanted to compare what Shane just tried to do to with what Nathan almost did. It wasn’t the same. It couldn’t be. Shane wasn’t Nathan, and he wasn’t Isaac. He never could be.

Regardless, she couldn’t consent to a mating bond, knowing that Shane, an alpha, mating with someone like her was a huge mistake. Luckily, it did take both partners to form it. Without the other half reaching out to weave their soul with the other, it wouldn’t work. The one end would dangle in the ether forever until it was retracted, as Shane did, or finally bonded.

Years ago, she had imagined what mating with Shane might have been like, despite the reality of her situation. This was damn near close to her craziest daydreams. They would make love all night and with the sunrise, confess their deepest feelings and let their souls intertwine, let their wolves touch and meet in a tender moment of intimacy that only shifters could experience. But, in all those daydreams, they were in a better place than a hotel room and never part of two separate packs that were destined to never cross paths again. In her daydreams, there was nothing to hold them back, nothing to stop them from being together.

Kimberly let one tear escape, a silent mournful tear for the dream that couldn’t come true. “I forgive you.”

Chapter Thirteen

Morning light escaped around the edges of the thick blackout curtains and sliced like long blades across the hotel room. It was just enough to cast a glow across Kimberly’s sleeping face. Shane had been awake for a couple of hours but hadn’t moved.

The night before went from unbearable to euphoric to a near disaster. Her sex was better than any horny wet dream his teenage self could have conceived. When she went down on him, he thought he would come completely undone, in the best way possible. Being inside her was an unimaginable thrill, better than any shift or run as a wolf. Not one moment of his life ever came close in comparison.

Then, he nearly ruined it all.

Shane bent his forehead to touch hers and breathed her in. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let himself and his wolf get so out of hand?

It only took one thought, one earth-shattering, mind-blowing thought to extend that mating bond in an unconscious offer. He wanted this to last forever, to belong to Kimberly and vice versa. He loved her, he knew that now, completely and recklessly. He didn’t think about his pack, his responsibilities, her current attachments, or anything about their pasts. He wanted her as his mate … but she didn’t.

Shane respected her wish, took her rejection at face value, and tried not to think too deep into it, but what else could he do while he lay awake half the night, then in the hours after dawn? What held her back?

Then, there was that other thing. When his wolf entered her to make the bond, he found her wolf. It was only for a second or two, but the contact was enough to tell him something was wrong.

As an alpha, his wolf was strong enough to reach through the spiritual and connect with other shifters, wolf-to-wolf. He could do it to force submission when dominance didn’t work, or to assess issues within the shifters themselves. Shane had only done it a few times in his life, and never without consent, just as he had done with Kimberly. But it yielded much more to worry about.

Something was wrong with her wolf. It was there, definitely alive, but there was a touch of sickness to it that was alarming. The connection between a shifter and their wolf spirit extended through all the realms. Physical, mental, emotional, everything. What Kimberly felt, the wolf felt. Knowing that Kimberly had some psychological issues to work through, it shouldn’t have been a shock that her wolf suffered alongside her.

It explained a few things, like how he hadn’t seen her eyes go completely gold since they reunited; only specks or flickers of gold. When the wolf was at the door, leaning into the driver’s seat but not exactly taking the wheel, a shifter’s eyes turned gold as a warning. Anger, joy, and fear could bring the wolf forward. Kimberly had stared right at him through all of these emotions, and the wolf never showed up. Now, he knew the truth. It simply didn’t have the strength to take over.

Kimberly had to know. There was no way she couldn’t. But she didn’t tell him about it. Again, she kept secrets. Again, she didn’t trust him with the truth. Again, he was in the dark. Her reprimand came back to him, reminding him that she had every right to withhold information if she saw fit. He wanted to accept that and battled with himself for hours in order to do so.

Shane had much to atone for. Not just the unwarranted failed mating bond, but to fix whatever happened to her wolf. Maybe, if he could mend whatever was broken, she would finally realize that Shane could be her person, her mate, and the idea of being bonded wouldn’t be so repulsive, and they could plan their future together.

Kimberly inhaled deeply and her bare legs shifted against his. They were both still unashamedly naked beneath the sheets, but after what happened last night, he resolved to respect her space and not initiate any serious intimacy unless she was the one who wanted it.

He brushed the tip of his nose on hers in an attempt to ease her further into the world of the conscious. When that didn’t work, he carefully reached up and traced tiny circles across the back of her hand that rested on the mattress between them. She stirred and gorgeous green eyes, perfectly and enticingly lit in the dim light, cracked open to look at him. A small, sleepy smile tugged at her lips.

How could anyone be so beautiful, sexy, brilliant, strong, and utterly feminine like Kimberly? She was a dream, a goddess among shifters. Once again, he thought of the years to come and how he wanted her like this in his bed every night and morning. Completely his.

Her voice, soft and low, broke the tranquil silence of the room. “I don’t want to go back.”

He leaned up and kissed her forehead, unable to keep his lips off her for another waking moment. “Neither do I.”

Kimberly let out a breath as her eyes closed again. “Then let’s stay. Just us.”

That sounded wonderful. Just Shane and Kimberly, together, their own little pack of two. Them against the world. When they were kids, they played make-believe with a similar story. Together, they stormed the castle, sailed the seas, and rode through the wilderness on giant raccoons, of all things. In all their plans, it had always been them, going through life side by side. When they started dating, the plan never changed. Life tore them apart and they had a chance to do it right again. Who could say they caught the girl that got away?