Page 46 of Blood and Trouble

“The magic,” I said, “from the transition.”

“Hmm.” He licked his lips. “But this is stronger than that. I didn’t have this with the shifter who helped me through mine, not for this long.”

I tried to keep my tone level when I asked, “Are we mates?”

Maeve told me I’d be certain if or when it happened. I wasn’t sure about Lycan, despite wanting to jump his bones half the time.

“No, I don’t believe so,” he said, but even as the words poured over his beautiful, pouty mouth, I shivered with disappointment. My animal half said he was withholding something important, that he knew more than he was saying, but I ignored that. I wanted to talk about the dynamic between us, and if he wanted to fuck me, I wanted to talk about that more.

Stop that. It’s not real. None of this is real. He’s still in love with Poe. You knew that getting into this.

I shoved that voice away, too. I didn’t want Lycan to hear it and dig deeper.

“But we are married,” he continued, “and you’re curious, and I’m open to teaching you.”

Smiling ear to ear, I leaned forward to put my hands on my thighs, all too eager to get started. He held up a finger to stop me.

“I have some rules,” he started. “And I want you to think about your boundaries, too. Things that are a hard limit for you.”

I’d done some research since I walked in on him with that guy, and I’d already come up with a list of things I’d wanted to try and things that were a no-go for me. I hadn’t planned on showing it to anyone, certainly not Lycan. I’d only done it as an academic exercise for myself. But since we were here…

I got off the bed, walked to my tablet, opened it to retrieve the file, then came back to him and set it down on his stomach.

“What’s this?” He laughed as he ran his finger over the screen. “Trouble, you’ve been such a naughty girl.”

“I was curious,” I said. “It only takes a few minutes on Google to stumble across a kink questionnaire.”

My nerves rattled while he read through it, and I tried not to shake while I waited for him to tell me I was a disgusting little freak that no one would ever want.

Stupid. Why’d you give that to him?

He didn’t ask for this. He doesn’t really want this.

You haven’t done enough to earn his attention.

“I told you to stop talking to yourself like that,” he said. “The next time I hear you call yourself stupid, I’m going to bend you over my knee and take it out of your ass. Do you understand?”

I inhaled a sharp breath as my cunt clenched and my hands curled into fists.

“Use your words.” He tilted his head to the side, stormy eyes sparkling with expectation.

“Yes, sir,” I said. “I understand.”

“Good girl.”

I preened and nearly wilted in on myself. I loved it when he called me a good girl, and something about his approval warmed my entire body.

“We can work with this.”

“Yeah?” I bit my bottom lip and sat up, pretending the little twist in my stomach had nothing to do with being nervous. Yes, it had been a long time since I’d been with anyone, and no, I’d never done anything like this before. But I trusted Lycan, perhaps more than I should, perhaps more than I’d ever trusted anyone.

Did it bother me that his ex with preternatural hearing was across the hotel suite? A little. Did it bother me that I thought the two of them should get back together, and now I wanted to throw myself into whatever this was with my husband? More than a little. But the truth was, they weren’t back together, and maybe…maybe this would make Poe jealous enough to act. Maybe he’d realize what he was missing and…

Focus.

“When we’re together, how do you want to feel?” He closed the tablet and refocused his attention on me, pushing up so we were eye level.

“Desired. Adored,” I said immediately. I’d already shown him my super-secret kink checklist. What was the point in being shy now? “When I first asked about it, you said it turned you on when people handed their control over to you, when you took someone to their edge and calmed the noise in their mind.”