Page 80 of Blood and Trouble

“Probably.” She snorted. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“What the fuck do you want, Ren?” As much as I wanted to growl at her, my voice came out soft and miserable.

“You think Mom and Dad suffered the loss of each other before they died. You look back at them, and you only remember the worst parts, but you’ve forgotten the good.”

I winced and rubbed my temples, focusing on the steady rhythm in my chest.

“They had twenty-five good years together as mates. They loved each other with every ounce of their being. Look at Orion and Sol. Look at Crater and Justina. Hell, look at any of the other mated couples in the pack. It isn’t about how it ends, Ly. You of all people know that life is worth living, and being mated is one of the best parts.”

“This coming from the female who refuses to date,” I said.

“Hey,” she snapped, and if we were in person, she would have punched my arm as hard as she could. “I date. I just don’t like anyone.”

I scoffed. Typical Ren with her excuses.

“I’m just saying,” she continued, ignoring my protest. “For someone who sits fourth in the pack, who’s faced vampires and witches and all kinds of shit, you’re really scared of something that could be the best thing that ever happened to you.”

“Rude,” I teased, even as her words seemed to make sense. “Ren, what if I can’t choose between them? Mates only work in pairs. I’ve never heard of a triad bond, have you?”

She sighed, and I imagined her shaking her head. “You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“Any updates from Mill or Chan?” I asked, desperate to change the subject.

“No, unfortunately. Kodiak’s got the whole pack digging. We’ll find something.”

We talked for a few more minutes before we hung up, but I didn’t go back inside. I stood out there and breathed in the night air, staring at the sky and marveling that the moon looked the same no matter which side of the Earth I was on.

What if I could have both of them? What if I could give them what they wanted? What would I do then?

I closed my eyes and shook my head.

No.

That was just childish fantasies and hopeless romantic bullshit. Eventually, I’d have to choose, and since I couldn’t, I wouldn’t choose either of them. I’d let them have each other and suffer alone.

CHAPTER 18

Ava

I worked most of the day, taking meetings from my laptop and rearranging my schedule to accommodate the change in plans. I went through the legal contracts my team sent over for final approval before they went to the companies we’d made deals with. Two of the five had come back with questions about Montana. Nothing in writing, just counsel asking whether the investigation might affect the timeline. I answered both in a tone I’d learned from Guin, but it meant the story had crossed the ocean. Scott would likely have it before I sat down with him.

Distracting myself with work did not cause the tightness in my chest to go away. Watching Lycan leave had been harder than I thought it would be, and I struggled to reconcile how much my life had changed in the last two weeks, let alone the month before that.

His magic still twisted through my body, faint and shimmering, but I couldn’t hear him telepathically anymore, something my wolf hated. Admittedly, I hated it, too. We weren’t mated, and the transition magic would only go so far. It should have faded by now, and it hadn’t. I chose not to read into that.

Poe sat next to me on the couch, alternating between reading a horror book I’d never heard of and writing in his journal. I tried not to stare, but it was difficult to keep my focus to myself. His dark hair gave way to high cheekbones and a strong jaw, cascading farther into a beautiful body that held as much strength as it did grace.

I didn’t know Poe as well as I knew Lycan, but my bones seethed with a certain understanding I couldn’t ignore. It had been there the first time I’d set eyes on him, and it had only gotten worse in the days since.

Poe flicked his gaze to me, and I quickly looked away, my cheeks burning at having been caught ogling him.

“What?” He closed his book and put a finger in between the pages to keep his place.

“Nothing.” I closed my eyes in a desperate attempt to brush it off. Images of him bent over the table with Lycan rutting behind him while I furiously rubbed my clit flitted through my mind. They were magnificent together, and the whole experience was the most erotic thing I’d ever done.

I wanted to remain dedicated to my plan. Once we got back to Montana, Lycan and I could get our marriage annulled and…what?

“How much more work do you have?” Poe asked, breaking my imagined worst-case scenario.